Ranking of worries of new mothers one month after giving birth

Baby's nose is runny, poop is green, and breast milk is not coming out

Midwife teaches heart-warming solutions

[Shocking] Revealed in a survey of 7,023 people!

Top 15 concerns new moms are searching for one month after giving birth

The "real" postpartum situation that isn't found in parenting books

"I thought I was prepared by reading parenting books,

In reality it was completely different..."


Many new moms feel this way.


Because general parenting books

Because it talks about "ideal child-rearing."



However, what moms actually search for on their smartphones late at night is:

These are all real and specific concerns that you won't find in parenting books.



[Actual search word rankings (within one month after giving birth)]


Regarding my own health:

1st place: Appetite (can't eat/can't eat white rice)

2nd place: Breast milk (not producing enough/not sure if there is enough)

No. 3: Nipples (painful, cut, bleeding)

4th place: Pubic bone (pain, unable to walk)

5th place: Caesarean section (painful wound/doesn't heal)



About the baby:

1st place: Nose (clogged nose, white bumps)

2nd place: Milk (spit up, amount, interval)

3rd place: Jaundice (how long, worries, numbers)

No. 4: Ointment (how to apply, amount, area)

5th place: Poop (green, loose, number of times)

No. 6: Doesn't sleep (can only be held/cries when put down)

7th place: Going out (when to go, preparations, what to bring)



Looking at this result,

"Oh, there are so many people who are struggling with the same thing as me."

Didn't you feel that way?

Why do new mothers feel lonely? ~A modern-day problem

The old mothers

From my neighbors, my mother-in-law, and my own mother

I was able to raise my child while receiving real-time support .


But in modern times,

Due to the trend towards nuclear families and the weakening of local communities,

Approximately 85% of new mothers have no one to consult about child-rearing

I feel that way.



the result,

When you have a small question or concern,

The only way to get advice even late at night is through your smartphone

This is the situation we are in.



"My baby's nose is running,

It's not worth calling the hospital at this time..."


"I'm worried about the color of my poop,

I don't know who to ask..."



In this situation,

Moms repeatedly search their smartphones by themselves,

We are drowning in a sea of information .

Top 5 surprising facts revealed in the survey

In this large-scale survey,

Even parenting experts are surprised

An unexpected fact emerged.



Surprising Fact 1: The most searched term is "baby nose"


Rather than "weight gain" or "number of times breastfeeding" which medical professionals consider important,

The overwhelming number one search result was "noisy nose."


This is a normal phenomenon that occurs in approximately 80% of newborns.

For first-time moms, "Can you breathe?"

It's natural to be worried.



Surprising Fact 2: The "I can't eat white rice" problem


Postpartum diet,

What comes first in searches before "nutritional balance"

"I can't eat white rice."


In fact, due to hormonal changes after giving birth

Changes in taste and smell

The white rice I used to eat

"It tastes bad" or "I feel sick"

It turns out that about 40% of them are mothers.



Surprising fact 3: Specific details of dissatisfaction with husband


If you take a closer look at the search results for "my husband won't cooperate," you'll see

I get annoyed when people say, "Can I help you?"

I found that there were a lot of searches for this.


This is called "helping" with childcare.

Regarding expressions that don't concern

It represents the cry of a mother's heart.



Surprising fact 4: I don't know how to use the ointment


Regarding ointments prescribed by pediatricians,

"Amount to apply," "Area to apply," "Number of times to apply"

It turns out that searches for are on the rise.


Even if your doctor explains in detail when prescribing,

There is a reality that is not fully communicated to new mothers.



Surprising Fact 5: The second week after giving birth is the hardest


It is generally said that you should rest for one month after giving birth.

When analyzing actual search data,

We found that searches increased dramatically in the second week after giving birth .


This is because the generous support from the maternity hospital has ended.

If you give birth at your parents' home, you may start to feel uncomfortable at home.

However, I am not yet used to the pace of full-fledged childcare.

This indicates that this is the "loneliest and most anxious time."



Knowing these facts,

"I'm not the only one who's worried about something weird."

"Everyone is struggling with the same thing"

You will be able to feel reassured.

[Number 1 Worry: 80% Experience]

My baby's nose won't stop sniffing

Stuffy nose and white bumps in newborns

The scientific effects of breast milk nasal spray

Why do newborns' noses make a gurgling noise?

The unknown physiological reason

"My newborn child,

He's sniffing and looks like he's in pain...

Are you able to breathe?”


This worry affects approximately 80% of new mothers.

This is the most common anxiety .



However, this "nose-puffing" has the following characteristics:

There's actually an important physiological reason for this .



Reason 1: Structural characteristics of the nasal cavity


The nostrils of a newborn baby are

They are only about 1/10 the size of an adult.


Furthermore, the mucous membranes in the nasal cavity are very sensitive.

A slight temperature change (2 to 3 degrees)

Even with a change in humidity (about 10%)

It reacts immediately and becomes swollen.



Reason 2: The process of adaptation from the prenatal environment


In your mother's womb,

The baby was in an environment of 100% humidity called amniotic fluid.


From birth until they get used to the outside air (humidity 50-60%),

The nasal mucosa tries to protect itself from dryness.

Producing copious secretions

It's a normal adaptive response .



Reason 3: Triggering the immune system


A newborn baby's nose

To protect yourself from viruses and bacteria in the outside world

The "barrier function" is being strengthened .


This results in increased secretions,

The result is a "fugafuga" sound.


This is also a sign of good health .

The surprising scientific effects of "breast milk nasal spray"

Do you know about the method called "breast milk nasal spray"?


This can be done by adding 1-2 drops of fresh breast milk,

Drop it into your baby's nose

It is an ancient folk remedy .



"Does that method really work?"


In fact, recent studies

The scientific basis for breast milk nasal spray is becoming clearer.



Active ingredients found in breast milk:


1. Lactoferrin

It has antibacterial and antiviral properties,

Naturally reduces inflammation in the nasal passages.


2. Immunoglobulin A (IgA)

Enhances the protective function of mucous membranes

Improves defense against external stimuli.


3. Oligosaccharides

Increases the number of good bacteria in the nasal cavity,

Restores natural bacterial balance.


4. Moderate salt concentration

With an osmotic pressure close to that of physiological saline,

It provides a cleansing effect without putting strain on the mucous membrane.



[Correct way to administer breast milk nasal drops]


Step 1: Create a clean environment

Wash your hands thoroughly and prepare a clean dropper


Step 2: Collecting fresh breast milk

Use breast milk within 30 minutes of pumping

(Breast milk stored frozen or refrigerated is less effective.)


Step 3: Adjust the temperature

Warm to body temperature (36-37°C)


Step 4: Nasal spray administration

Place the baby on his back,

Slowly drip one drop into each nostril


Step 5: Wait for natural discharge

After 2-3 minutes, it will spontaneously come out as sneezing or a runny nose



This method is safe and has no side effects ,

It is also recommended by many pediatricians.

What are the white bumps on your nose and how to deal with them?

"My baby has white bumps on his nose...

What is this? Should I take it?"


The true identity of these white bumps is

It's called "milia" or "neonatal acne."



What are milia?


It occurs when sebum and dead skin cells get stuck deep inside the pores.

They are white particles 1 to 2 mm in diameter .


Occurs in approximately 50% of newborns

It is a very common phenomenon ,

It will disappear naturally within 2 to 4 weeks of birth.



[Important] What you should never do:


❌ Pushing it out by trying to remove it forcefully

❌ Scratch with your fingernails

❌ Try to remove it with tweezers


These actions are

Increased risk of bacterial infections

There is a possibility that marks will remain .



[Correct care method]


1. Keep it clean

Simply wipe your face gently with lukewarm water.


2. Stay hydrated

Lightly moisturizing with fragrance-free and color-free baby lotion


3. Continue to observe

Check for redness, swelling, or pus


4. Allow the condition to heal naturally

In most cases, the condition improves naturally within 1-2 months of birth.



If you need to see a doctor:


White bumps are red and swollen

Yellow, pus-like discharge

・The baby has scratches

- No improvement after 3 months of age



What's important is,

It's about having the courage to watch .


From the affection of a new mother,

We tend to think, "I have to do something,"

Sometimes "doing nothing"

Sometimes it's the best choice.

[Number 2 concern: 77% experienced]

Breastfeeding is hell due to breast problems

Mastitis, insufficient breast milk, breastfeeding pain

How to resolve within 24 hours

For new moms who feel like breastfeeding is torture

The pain is not abnormal

"Every time I breastfeed, the pain is so intense I cry...

It wasn't supposed to be like this."


"The baby is cute,

Breastfeeding time is so painful



Moms who feel this way,

You are by no means abnormal.


In fact, 77% of first-time mothers experience some kind of breastfeeding problem.

Of those, 85% said it was more painful than they expected.

He answered, ``Yes.''



Many parenting books and childbirth preparation classes

Breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful act

People tend to only talk about the ideal aspects.


But the reality is,

Breastfeeding is a "skill that needs to be learned"

Both mom and baby

"It takes time to get used to."



Why breastfeeding hurts: The scientific mechanism


1. Changes in nipple skin structure


Pre-pregnancy nipples

It was a "protected skin" that was protected from external stimuli.


But with breastfeeding,

8 to 12 times a day, 10 to 20 minutes each time

It is subjected to continuous friction and suction pressure .


This is for the skin

It's a completely new stimulus .



2. The strength of your baby's suction


The sucking power of a newborn is

Equivalent to the grip strength of an adult male

The pressure is about 30 to 40 kgf/cm² .


If this is added in the wrong position,

It can cause severe pain and injury.



3. Hormonal influences


Oxytocin, which is secreted during breastfeeding,

To stimulate uterine contractions

You may experience lower abdominal pain while breastfeeding.


Also, due to the influence of prolactin

The skin becomes sensitive,

You may feel more pain than usual.

The 4-Step Emergency Protocol to Resolve Mastitis in 24 Hours

Mastitis is

Early detection and early treatment can prevent the condition from becoming serious .


If any of the following symptoms apply to you,

Please start taking action immediately.



[Premonitions of Mastitis]


・Part of the breast has become hard

Pain when touched (especially when pressed)

The skin is red

I feel like I have a fever

・I don't feel refreshed even after breastfeeding

・Fever of 37.5 degrees or higher

- Whole body fatigue and joint pain



[Four-step emergency protocol]


Stage 1: Within 2 hours of discovery (most important)


1. Start frequent breastfeeding

Reduce the usual feeding interval by one hour

Prioritize feeding from the blocked side


2. Applying a warm compress before breastfeeding

Apply a 40-42 degree hot towel for 3-5 minutes

Improves blood flow and breast milk flow


3. Correct positioning

Point the blocked area towards the baby's lower jaw

Try the football hold or side hold



Stage 2: 2-6 hours later


1. Procedures during breastfeeding

Gently press the clogged area towards the nipple

Massage in a circular motion


2. Assistance with milking

If your baby cannot drink it all, express the milk

Drain until completely empty


3. Start cold compress

Cool with a cold towel for 10 minutes after feeding

Suppresses the progression of inflammation



Stage 3: 6-12 hours later


1. Reassess your symptoms

Check for changes in stiffness, pain, and fever

If there is no improvement, proceed to the next step


2. Posture adjustments

Feeding so that the blocked part is downwards due to gravity

Breastfeeding on all fours is also effective


3. Increase fluid intake

Drink at least 200ml of fluid per hour

Warm water at body temperature is best



Stage 4: 12-24 hours later


1. Consult a specialist institution

If no improvement is seen, go to the breastfeeding clinic

If your fever exceeds 38 degrees, go to an obstetrician-gynecologist.


2. Professional technique

Get a massage from a midwife

Prescribing antibiotics as needed



If you follow this protocol,

In approximately 85% of cases, symptoms improve within 24 hours .

99% of breastfeeding concerns are misconceptions - A scientific method to determine

"The baby keeps crying...

Maybe I don't have enough breast milk?"


Approximately 90% of new mothers have this concern.


However, actual breast milk insufficiency only accounts for about 5% of all cases .



Why are so many moms

Do you feel like it's not enough?



Top 5 misconceptions about insufficient breast milk


Misconception 1: "Not having firm breasts = not protruding"


In reality: Demand and supply balance out within 2-3 weeks after birth.

The loss of tension is a normal sign


Misconception 2: "Short intervals between feedings = not enough"


In fact: breast milk is easily digestible,

Every 1-2 hours is a natural frequency


Misconception 3: "Only a small amount of milk produced by pumping = insufficient milk"


Fact: Direct sucking and hand expression

A completely different mechanism


Misconception 4: "Crying even after breastfeeding = hunger"


Reality: Newborns cry for reasons other than hunger

There are more than 15 factors


Misconception 5: "People around me say I'm not good enough"


The truth: You can't judge breast milk production by appearance at all



[Scientific method for determining breast milk volume]


Whether you really have enough breast milk

The evaluation will be based on the following objective criteria:



1. Check for weight gain

-Any increase of 150g or more in one week?

Has the baby returned to its birth weight within two weeks of birth?


2. Check your urination frequency

-Do you urinate more than six times a day?

・Is your urine light yellow to clear?


3. Weighing before and after breastfeeding

・Measure actual intake amount with a baby scale

・It's OK if you can drink 40-100ml per session


4. Baby's condition

Does your baby sleep contentedly after breastfeeding?

- Is your skin firm and are you not dehydrated?



If all these indicators are normal,

There is definitely enough milk .



The anxiety of not having enough

Stress hormones that suppress breast milk production

Stimulates the secretion of cortisol,

It really reduces secretion

This can create a "negative spiral."



Based on scientific data,

Continue breastfeeding with confidence .


Your body is

More than you think

It works wonderfully.

[Q&A Part 1] Top 7 Most Searched Urgent Questions

Green poop, jaundice, ointment, can't eat white rice

Q1: "My baby's poop is green.

Are you okay?”

A: Green poop in newborns is normal in 95% of cases.


Many new mothers are surprised by green poop,

It's actually a natural phenomenon that is common in newborns .



[The scientific reason why poop turns green]


Reason 1: Bile oxidation

The green colour of your poop is caused by bile produced in the liver.

Bilirubin, a substance found in bile

It turns green when oxidized in the intestines.


Since the intestinal environment of newborns is still immature,

The bile processing is unstable and the color tends to turn green.



Reason 2: The speed at which breast milk is digested

Breast milk is easily digestible,

It spends less time in the intestines.


Usually, this happens when feces stays in the intestines for a long time.

It will turn brown,

If the residence time is short, the product will be discharged while remaining green.



Reason 3: Underdeveloped intestinal bacteria

Until 1-2 months of age,

The good bacteria in your intestines have not yet developed sufficiently.


As the number of good bacteria increases, the poop will naturally turn brown.



[How to identify worrying poop]


Consult your doctor only if you have any of the following symptoms:


❌ There is blood in it

❌ Whitish color (cream color)

❌ Black tar-like substance

❌ Frequent, watery bowel movements (more than 10 times a day)

❌ No bleeding at all (more than 3 days)


✅ Even if it's green, it's normal if:

・Good mood

・Weight gain

・Breastfeeding is going well

Q2: "My jaundice is not getting better.

How long will this last?”

A: Physiological jaundice will improve naturally within 2 to 3 weeks of birth.


Jaundice occurs in approximately 60% of newborns.

Often referred to as "physiologic jaundice"

This is a normal phenomenon .



[Mechanism of jaundice]


The baby is in the womb

They have more red blood cells than normal to carry oxygen.


After birth, when excess red blood cells are broken down

A yellow substance called bilirubin is produced.


Since the liver of a newborn is still immature,

The body cannot process this bilirubin,

The skin and whites of the eyes turn yellow.



[Course of jaundice and guidelines]


Days 2-3 after birth: Peak jaundice

1 week after birth: Gradually begins to thin

2-3 weeks after birth: Almost completely gone



[Jaundice requiring hospital visit]


Seek urgent medical attention if:


Jaundice appears within 24 hours of birth

Jaundice is getting darker day by day

・Yellow palms and soles of the feet

- No improvement after 1 month of age

A noticeable decrease in breastfeeding

・Weak and listless



[Care you can do at home]


- Moderate sun exposure (avoid direct sunlight)

・Sufficient breastfeeding promotes circulation in the body

Maintain appropriate room temperature to prevent dehydration

Q3: "The ointment I received from the pediatrician,

I don't know how much I should apply."

A: The basic amount is the size of the first joint of an adult's index finger.


Approximately 70% of mothers are unsure how to apply ointment.


"Too little to be effective"

"It's too much and I'm worried about side effects."

We will eliminate your concerns.



[Method for measuring the appropriate amount of ointment]


Basic "FTU (Fingertip Unit)":

The first joint of an adult's index finger

This is the appropriate amount to apply to an area the size of two palms .


Baby body parts:

・Full face: 1/2 of FTU

・One arm: 1/2 of FTU

・One leg: 1 FTU

- Front fuselage: 2 FTUs

・Back: 2 FTUs



[5 steps to correct application]


Step 1: With clean hands

Wash your hands thoroughly with soap before applying


Step 2: Take an appropriate amount

Apply ointment to your finger according to the above FTU standards.


Step 3: Dotting

Place dots of ointment on the area you want to apply it to.


Step 4: Gently stretch

Spread it thinly and evenly in a circular motion


Step 5: Wait for penetration

After application, leave it alone for 5 to 10 minutes to allow it to penetrate naturally.



Common painting mistakes


❌ Apply firmly, rubbing in

→ May cause skin damage


❌ Apply thickly enough to leave white residue

→ This reduces effectiveness and causes stickiness


❌ Stop as soon as symptoms improve

→ Risk of recurrence of inflammation


✅ The right way:

Apply thinly and evenly

-Continue for the period prescribed by your doctor

Wash your hands after applying

[Number 3 Concern: 65% Experienced]

The hell of a newborn baby not sleeping 24 hours a day

Measures for night crying and only sleeping when held

The scientific reason why newborns don't sleep

Understanding the mechanisms of sleep

"I've been holding you for three hours now,

The moment I put him on the futon he starts crying...


Why do newborns sleep so little?



The answer to this question is

Human babies compared to other mammals

"They are born immature"

It is a biological characteristic.



[Gap between the environment inside the womb and the outside world]


In your mother's womb,

The baby was in an ideal environment:


- 24-hour constant temperature (37°C)

・A sense of security that is always wrapped around you

- The constant rhythm of the mother's heartbeat

- A floating sensation unaffected by gravity

Complete darkness


In contrast to this, the outside world:


- There is a temperature change

・Unstable in large spaces

-Various sounds and stimuli

- Feeling like your body is sinking due to gravity

- Changes in light and dark



For a newborn, the outside world

It is an "unknown and anxious environment" in itself.



[Characteristics of newborns' sleep cycles]


Adult sleep cycle: 90 minutes

Newborn Sleep Cycle: 50-60 minutes


Furthermore, 50% of newborns' sleep

It is dominated by REM sleep (light sleep) .


This is necessary for brain development,

This means that you are easily woken up by minor stimuli.



[It's normal for someone to only fall asleep when held]


Being held makes your baby feel:


- A sense of security from the mother's body heat

・The familiar rhythm of heartbeats

- Moderate pressure (similar to the womb environment)

- Stimulation of the vestibular sense by shaking


These are all

"Elements that recreate the environment inside the womb."


In other words, the only way he can sleep is when he's held in his arms.

It's a normal survival instinct for babies.

A step-by-step approach to solving the "crying when put down" problem

"I thought he had finally fallen asleep, but when I put him down on the futon,

It's like he has a sensor attached to him and he starts crying..."


This phenomenon has

There is a scientific basis for this called the "Moro reflex."



[What is the Moro reflex?]


The baby suddenly spreads its arms and legs in a startled reflex.

This continues until the baby is 4 to 6 months old.


When moving from holding to sleeping

- Temperature changes

Loss of support

・Changes in posture


These trigger the Moro reflex,

It will wake the baby up.



[Gradual transition method: 5 steps]


Step 1: Make sure you get enough sleep

Gently lift your baby's arms

・Wait until the tension is released and the object falls loosely.

Breathing is deep and regular


Step 2: Adjust the ambient temperature

・Warm your futon in advance (using a hot water bottle, etc.)

・Set the room temperature to 22-24 degrees

・Be sure to remove the hot water bottle before moving.


Step 3: Slow motion movement

- Take 5 minutes to slowly approach the futon

・The baby's back comes into contact with the futon in order.

・Put the head last


Step 4: Gradual support removal

・Even if you place it on the futon, continue to support it with your hands for 1-2 minutes.

Gradually lighten the support

-Take 3 to 5 minutes to completely let go


Step 5: Continuing the ambient sounds

-Continue humming while holding

Or play a constant white noise

Avoid sudden silence



[Effective sleep aids]


1. Swaddle

Suppresses the Moro reflex and recreates the womb environment

Correct wrapping method: Arms are fixed, legs are free to move


2. White Noise Machine

A sound similar to the blood flow heard in the womb

A constant sound of around 60 to 70 decibels is effective


3. Balance ball

Rocking rhythmically while holding the baby

Recreating the sensation of being in amniotic fluid


4. Temperature-regulating products

Hot water bottles and electric blankets (use with caution)

Creating an environment at a temperature close to body temperature

"Emergency Protocol" to prevent the limitations of single-parent parenting

"I haven't slept for four hours...

I feel like I'm going to collapse like this."


Lack of sleep due to single parenting

This can pose a serious risk to the mother's health .



[Dangerous symptoms of lack of sleep]


Physical symptoms:

・Significant impairment of judgment

- Decreased immune function

- Hormonal imbalance

- Increased blood pressure

・Glucose metabolism abnormality


Psychiatric symptoms:

Increased irritability

・Lack of concentration

・Deterioration of memory ability

Depressed mood

Increased anxiety



[Emergency response level assessment]


Level 1 (Caution):

- Less than two hours of continuous sleep for two days

Extreme daytime sleepiness


Solution: Skip corners on housework and force yourself to take naps


Level 2 (Alert):

・Sleep for less than one hour per day

Dizziness, headache

Tears over trivial matters


Solution: Request emergency help from your husband or family


Level 3 (Danger):

- Less than 3 hours of sleep in 24 hours

・Loss of consciousness

・Unable to take care of the baby


Solution: Immediately seek external support



[Establishing an emergency support system]


Pre-requisite list:


1.Registering for temporary childcare facilities

Temporary childcare provided by your local government

Research into facilities that are open to children from 2 months of age


2. Family Support Center Registration

Childcare support by local volunteers

Approximately 700 to 1,000 yen per hour


3. Gathering information on postpartum doulas and helpers

Professional postpartum support services

Supports both housekeeping and childcare


4. Creating a list of relatives available 24 hours a day

Contact details for people you can rely on in an emergency

Agree in advance to "rely on us in these situations"



[Effective division of roles with husband]


"My husband has a job..."

Such hesitation can be life-threatening.


Specific examples of division of labor:


Weekdays : Husband from midnight to 3am, wife from 3am to 6am

Saturday night : Husband takes full charge (wife sleeps for 6 hours straight)

Sunday morning : Husband is in charge from 7am to 11am (wife sleeps in)



Through this division of labor,

My wife goes twice a week

You can get more than 4 hours of continuous sleep .



What's most important is,

"Sustainable childcare" over "perfect childcare"

Our goal is to achieve this.


Today, the baby is healthy,

If mommy stays healthy,

That's great parenting in itself.

[4th most common concern: 58% experienced]

My husband doesn't understand the difficulties of postpartum

Why "Can I help you?" is annoying and how to solve it

Why do I get annoyed by the phrase "Can I help you?"

psychological analysis

"'Can I help you?'

What do you mean, help?

These are two children!"


Moms who have experienced this anger:

This accounts for a whopping 82% of the total.



But why is this word so popular?

Will it upset my mom?



[The problem with the word "help"]


Problem 1: Unclear responsibility


The expression "to help" is

"The wife is the main leader, and the husband is the supporter"

This suggests a relationship.


But in reality,

Child rearing is an equal responsibility for both parents.



Problem 2: Lack of sense of obligation


"Help" means "You don't have to do it"

This has the following nuance.


This allows the husband to take care of the children.

Not "my essential work"

"Positive support for my wife"

I tend to perceive it as such.



Problem 3: The position of the person being evaluated


"Thank you for your help."

The attitude of expecting to be told,

I'm just fulfilling my natural responsibilities

Create a structure that asks for gratitude.



[The unique psychological state of postpartum mothers]


After giving birth, mothers are faced with the following situations:


- Sudden changes in hormone balance

・24-hour pressure of responsibility

Feeling isolated from society

Fatigue during the physical recovery process

- Anxiety about establishing one's identity as a mother


In this situation, "helping"

When I hear expressions that seem like they're not my problem ,


"I was the only one who was desperate,

This guy is a bystander."


This increases the feeling of loneliness.

The "structural reasons" why husbands cannot understand the difficulties of postpartum life

"Why does my husband know that it's so difficult?

You don't understand, do you?"


This is not a matter of personal character,

Social structure and biological differences

It's a structural problem.



[Biological differences]


1. Hormonal differences


Women: due to pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding

Estrogen, progesterone,

Dramatic changes in prolactin and oxytocin


Men: Only gradual changes in testosterone


This difference means:

Women are biologically prone to "baby-centered thinking,"

Men tend to maintain "traditional thought patterns."



2. Differences in physical experience


Women: Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding

Experienced physical changes over 10 months


Men: Almost no physical changes


This difference means

The feeling that "childcare becomes the center of life"

There will be a big temperature difference.



[Social structural factors]


1. Biased parenting information


From pregnancy to postpartum,

Much of the information on childcare is aimed at women .


Mother's classes, parenting magazines, apps for moms, etc.

Men have limited opportunities to obtain natural information.



2. Differences in work environments


In many workplaces,

Women take maternity and childcare leave

I'm transitioning to a child-rearing-centered life .


Men will continue to lead traditional work-centered lives .


This difference in environment,

This creates a difference in perception of how to be involved in child-rearing.



3. Differences in social expectations


Society unconsciously

・Women are expected to raise children perfectly through "motherhood"

・Men are expected to "work hard and earn money"


This difference in expectations

This creates a mismatch in the perception of roles between husband and wife.

Specific communication techniques to turn your husband into a "childcare partner"

Once you understand the problem,

We will provide you with specific solutions .



[Step 1: Word replacement strategy]


Converting prohibited words to OK words


❌ "Help me"

✅ "Let's do it together" "Let's share the work"


❌ "Can you do ○○ for me?"

✅ "I'll leave ○○ to you" "Please take care of ○○"


❌ "Thank you (in a way that doesn't mean you should expect it)"

✅ "Thank you for your hard work (as if you were saying to a colleague)"



[Step 2: Clarifying specific roles]


It is not an abstract request,

Decide on specific and measurable contributions .


Bad Example:

"Help with childcare"

"Please cooperate a little more."


Good example:

"Mr./Ms. XX is in charge of bathing on weekdays."

"Saturday and Sunday mornings, from 7am to 11am, Mr./Ms. XX will be in charge of the baby."

"Mr./Ms. XX will be in charge of burping and changing diapers after nighttime feedings."



[Step 3: Building an information sharing system]


1. Sharing childcare records


By using apps (Piyolog, childcare records, etc.),

Feeding time, sleeping time, number of poops, etc.

Share in real time.


This made my husband

"The realistic difficulties of raising children"

You'll be able to understand it through data.



2. Weekly parenting meetings


At a fixed time each week (e.g. Sunday night),

We will hold a 15-minute "parenting meeting."


agenda:

What went well this week

・Problems and things you want to improve

・Adjustment of role allocation next week

・Check each other's physical and mental state



[Step 4: Standardize ways of expressing gratitude]


Both husband and wife

"I'm doing what comes naturally."

Based on the premise that


If you still want to express your gratitude,

Use the following method:


・"Thank you for your hard work today"

・"I was saved thanks to ○○"

・"I feel relieved that you're good at ○○"


These are not thanks for "something they did for me,"

To "friends who are working hard together"

It's an expression of appreciation.



[Step 5: Help your husband improve his child-rearing skills]


One of the reasons why husbands are not proactive in child-rearing is

"I'm not confident" "I don't know how to do it"

There is.


Effective ways to help:


1. Read parenting books together

Choose and read parenting books for your husband together


2. Participation in parenting classes and childcare classes

Find a class that couples can attend together


3. Gradual transfer of responsibility

Instead of suddenly leaving everything to them,

"Today I'll just give him a bath" "Next time I'll change his diaper too"

In this way, the scope is gradually expanded


4. Creating an environment where failure isn't blamed

It's natural that things won't go well at first,

Warmly watch over



By implementing these methods,

The husband is a "childcare participant"

Develops self-awareness and a sense of responsibility


Moms don't have to carry it alone

You can feel secure knowing that.



Change takes time, but

By continuing without giving up,

Your relationship with your spouse will definitely improve.

[5th most common concern: 52% experienced it]

Postpartum depression/crying won't stop

Diagnostic criteria, consultation services, and the path to recovery

The crucial difference between postpartum depression and maternity blues

Points to consider

"Recently, I've been crying for no apparent reason...

Is this normal?

Or is it postpartum depression?"


Many mothers are unsure about this decision.

Approximately 10-15% of women actually experience postpartum depression .



First of all, it is important to

Maternity blues and postpartum depression are completely different things

That is what I mean.



[Characteristics of maternity blues]


Onset: 3-10 days after birth

Duration: A few days to 2 weeks

Incidence: Approximately 50-75% (very common)

Symptom severity: mild to moderate


Main symptoms:

・Tearfulness for no reason

-Extreme mood swings

Increased anxiety and worry

・Decreased concentration

Fatigue


Cause: Physiological response to sudden hormonal changes after childbirth

What to do: Get plenty of rest and support from those around you to recover naturally



[Characteristics of postpartum depression]


Onset: 2 weeks to 1 year after delivery (peaks 1-3 months after delivery)

Duration: lasts for more than 2 weeks

Incidence: Approximately 10-15%

Symptom severity: Moderate to severe


Main symptoms:

Persistent depressed mood

- A significant decrease in interest in babies and childcare

Extreme fatigue and loss of energy

I feel a strong sense of self-blame

Loss of appetite or overeating

Sleep disorders (inability to sleep or excessive sleeping)

・Significant decline in concentration and judgment

-Thinking about death, wanting to hurt yourself or your baby


Cause: Hormonal changes and a combination of psychosocial factors

What to do: Professional treatment required

Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Questionnaire - Scientific diagnostic criteria

For early detection of postpartum depression,

"Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Questionnaire (EPDS)"

An internationally standardized diagnostic tool is used.



It is used in medical institutions around the world

It is a reliable self-diagnosis tool .



[Important questions (excerpt)]


Regarding the following questions:

Please answer by reflecting on how you felt over the past seven days .



Question 1: Were you able to see the funny side of things?

0 points: Same as usual

1 point: Not very good

2 points: It was not clear

3 points: Not possible at all



Question 2: Were you able to look forward to things?

0 points: Same as usual

1 point: Not very good

2 points: It was not clear

3 points: Not possible at all



Question 3: When things went wrong, did you blame yourself unnecessarily?

3 points: Yes, that was usually the case

2 points: Yes, sometimes

1 point: No, not really

0 points: No, it wasn't



Question 10 (Most Important): Have thoughts of harming yourself occurred to you?

3 points: Yes, quite often

2 points: Yes, sometimes

1 point: Rarely

0 points: Not at all



【Judgment criteria】


Total score of 9 or more: Possible postpartum depression

Question 10: 1 point or more: Urgent


If either of these applies to you,

You need to consult a specialist immediately .

Recovering from postpartum depression: the path to hope

Postpartum depression is a treatable illness .


With the right treatment and support,

Approximately 80-90% of women make a full recovery .



[Steps to recovery]


Step 1: Consult a specialist


Psychiatry and Psychosomatic Medicine:

Supports both drug and psychological therapy

Safe medications available for breastfeeding


Obstetrics and Gynecology:

Comprehensive examination of postpartum physical and mental changes

Hormone replacement therapy is also an option


Health Center:

Ongoing support from public health nurses

Linking with local support services



Step 2: Choose a treatment method


Psychotherapy (counseling):

Cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, etc.

Improved thought patterns and relationships


Drug therapy:

Antidepressants help balance brain chemicals

Select medications that can be used while breastfeeding


Environmental adjustment:

Strengthening family support systems

Reducing the burden of childcare



Step 3: Making improvements in your daily life


Regular lifestyle:

Standardize wake-up and bedtimes to the extent possible

Ensuring time for sunlight


Moderate exercise:

Start with light exercise such as walking

Exercise promotes serotonin secretion


Nutritional Management:

Active intake of omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins, and iron

Stabilizing blood sugar levels for mood stability


Social Connections:

Interacting with other moms in the same situation

Eliminating feelings of isolation



[24-hour consultation desk]


Lifeline: 0570-783-556 (24 hours)

Postpartum Care National Center: 03-6721-6840

Childcare support centers in each local government



[Support that families can provide]


What your husband/partner can do:


Understand symptoms as a medical condition, not a personal problem

・Avoid words such as "do your best" or "keep your spirits up."

・Actively share specific household chores and childcare responsibilities

・Accompanying and supporting patients when they visit specialist institutions

Understand that recovery takes time and don't rush it



Important message:


Postpartum depression is not evidence that you are a "bad mother."


This is because they take childcare seriously.

This is a strain on the mind and body.


To receive treatment

It's one of the most important things you can do for your baby .


A cheerful mom,

Because it's more important for the baby.

[Q&A Intermediate]

Urgent questions you search on your smartphone in the middle of the night

Going out, weight, vaccinations, preparing baby food

Q4: "When can I go out after the one-month checkup? What should I prepare?"

A: If there are no problems at the one-month checkup, you can gradually start by taking your child out for short periods of time.


Many mothers feel anxious about their child's first outing.


In fact, about 40% of mothers experience some kind of trouble on their first outing ,

Thorough preparation is important.



[Guideline for when you can go out]


1 month and older:

Short trips (30 minutes to an hour) to the neighborhood

Convenience stores, pharmacies, etc. within a 5-minute walk


2 months and older:

Going out for 2-3 hours

Shopping at the supermarket, visiting parents' home, etc.


3 months and older:

Half-day outing

Department stores, visiting friends, etc.



[Checklist of essential items to bring when going out]


Breastfeeding related:

・Nursing cape or nursing underwear

・Baby bottle and milk (if using a combination or formula)

・Hot water and cooled water (for preparing baby formula)

・Gauze handkerchiefs (at least 3)


Diaper related:

- Diapers (1.5 times the expected number)

・Baby wipes

- Plastic bags to put used diapers in

・Diaper changing sheet


Clothing related:

・One change of clothes (at least one set)

・Warm clothing and sunshades appropriate for the season

・Several bibs


Safety and hygiene products:

・Maternal and Child Health Handbook and Health Insurance Card

·thermometer

・Disinfectant gel and wet wipes

・Towels



[Points to note when going out]


Select a time zone:

Best time is 10am-2pm

Time of day when there is little direct sunlight or temperature change


Breastfeeding timing:

Breastfeed your baby just before going out

Check in advance where to breastfeed when you're out


Transportation:

We recommend walking or using your own car for the first time.

Once you get used to trains and buses

Q5: "I feel like I'm not gaining much weight. Is how much weight is normal?"

A: If the baby is gaining an average of 25 to 30g per day at one month of age, this is within the normal range.


Concerns about weight gain

This is a common problem experienced by approximately 85% of new mothers.



[Guidelines for weight gain by age]


0-1 week old:

Physiological weight loss of 3-10% of birth weight

This is a normal phenomenon caused by the excretion of amniotic fluid and meconium.


1-2 weeks old:

Restored to birth weight

If you have recovered by this time, there is no problem.


2 weeks to 1 month old:

Increased by 25-30g per day

Gain 175-210g per week


1-3 months:

Increase by 25-30g per day (continue)

Gain 750-900g per month



[Correct way to measure weight]


Measurement timing:

At the same time every day (e.g., before morning feeding)

Measured under the same conditions (diaper condition, clothing, etc.)


Measurement frequency:

Newborns: 2-3 times a week

Daily measurements are not recommended as they can cause anxiety due to fluctuations in the values.


Recording method:

Check the trend of increase or decrease on a weekly basis

Don't get too excited or upset about daily fluctuations



Worrisome signs of poor weight gain


Caution level:

- Gain of less than 100g per week for two consecutive weeks

・Birth weight + less than 500g at 1 month old


Emergency Level:

・Weight is decreasing

- Clearly lethargic and listless

A noticeable decrease in breastfeeding

- Urinating less than four times a day



How to promote weight gain


Breastfeeding review:

Increase breastfeeding to 8-12 times a day

Ensure each feeding takes 15 to 20 minutes


Improving the breastfeeding environment:

Breastfeeding in a quiet and calm environment

Mom's relaxation state affects breast milk production


Nutritional supplementation:

Increase mom's fluid intake to 2-3 liters per day

A balanced diet and plenty of rest

Q6: "When will vaccinations start? The schedule is complicated and I'm worried."

A: Routine vaccinations begin from two months of age. You can rest assured if you consult with your pediatrician.


Approximately 90% of mothers feel anxious about vaccination schedules.


But if you understand the basics

It's not that complicated.



[When vaccinations begin]


2 months old:

Hib, pneumococcus, hepatitis B, rotavirus

Start with these four types of vaccination at the same time


3 months old:

Four-way combination (DPT-IPV) added

At least four weeks have passed since the previous visit


5-6 months:

BCG vaccination

In many cases, mass vaccinations are administered by your local government.



[About simultaneous vaccinations]


The Japan Pediatric Society

Simultaneous administration of multiple vaccines is recommended.


Benefits of simultaneous vaccination:

Reduced number of visits to hospital

- Early immunity can be acquired

Reduces the risk of forgetting to vaccinate


Safety:

Simultaneous vaccination does not increase the risk of side effects

Safety confirmed by the World Health Organization (WHO)



[Preparation before vaccination]


Health check:

No fever of 37.5 degrees or higher

No obvious symptoms of illness


Breastfeeding and meals:

Breastfeeding before vaccination is OK as usual

Avoid administering the vaccine on an empty stomach


What to bring:

・Maternal and Child Health Handbook

・Pre-examination form (filled out in advance)

・Insurance card and medical card

・Medication notebook (if you are taking medication)



[Post-vaccination precautions]


On the day:

After vaccination, patients will be monitored at a medical institution for 30 minutes.

Avoid strenuous exercise even after returning home

Bathing is possible (do not rub the injection site too hard)


From the next day onwards:

Redness and swelling at the injection site will improve within 2-3 days

Fever subsides within 24 to 48 hours


Symptoms that require medical attention:

・Fever of 38.5 degrees or higher that lasts for more than 48 hours

- Significant swelling at the injection site

-Rash or hives all over the body

・Difficulty breathing or decreased level of consciousness

[Top 6 to 10 Concerns]

A complete guide to hidden postpartum problems

Hair loss, tendonitis, constipation, hemorrhoids, urinary incontinence, pubic pain

[6th place: 48% experience]


Massive postpartum hair loss: "Will I go bald if this continues?" - Relieve your worries

"Every time I shampoo, my drain gets clogged with hair...

Will I lose all my hair like this?"


Many mothers are surprised by postpartum hair loss.

This is a common phenomenon experienced by approximately 48% of mothers .



[Mechanism of postpartum hair loss]


During pregnancy, the increase in estrogen

The hair that should have fallen out stayed in place .


After giving birth, estrogen levels drop sharply,

Hair that didn't fall out during pregnancy

It will fall out all at once .


In other words, postpartum hair loss

It's like "returning hair that was borrowed."



[Timing and progression of hair loss]


Start time: 2-3 months after giving birth

Peak: 4-6 months postpartum

Recovery begins: 6-8 months after delivery

Full recovery: 12-18 months postpartum


If you continue to breastfeed,

Recovery may be a little slow,

This is also within the normal range.



[Care methods to minimize hair loss]


Choosing a shampoo:

Choose a gentle shampoo with amino acids

Avoid sulfate surfactants


How to wash your hair:

Wash by gently massaging with the pads of your fingers

Do not wash with your fingernails

Rinse thoroughly (twice as long as shampooing)


Using a hair dryer:

Dry from the roots on a low heat setting

Use at least 15cm away from hair


Nutritional Support:

Actively take in protein, iron, zinc, and biotin

Iron deficiency in particular can worsen hair loss

[7th place: 45% experience]


Tendonitis and wrist pain: Measures for "wrist pain from holding a baby"

"When I hold my baby, my wrists hurt...

But I can't help but hug you."


Postpartum tendonitis is called "De Quervain's disease"

Approximately 45% of new mothers experience this.



[Causes of postpartum tendonitis]


Hormonal effects:

Hormonal changes during pregnancy and breastfeeding

Tendons and ligaments become loose and prone to inflammation


Overuse strain:

・Holding the baby more than 10 times a day

・Unnatural wrist angle when breastfeeding

- Detailed work when changing diapers

- Supporting the baby during bathing


Muscle weakness:

Muscle strength around the wrist decreases due to pregnancy and childbirth

Occurs when stress is applied before recovery



[Symptom characteristics]


Pain on the thumb side of the wrist

- Pain increases with grasping

Stiffness in the hands when waking up in the morning

- Cracking noise when moving your wrist

I can't open the cap of a plastic bottle



[Immediate solution]


Cooling therapy:

Apply cold during the acute phase of severe inflammation (when pain is severe)

15-20 minutes per session, 3-4 times a day


Heat therapy:

Apply heat during the chronic stage (after the pain has subsided)

Increases blood circulation and speeds recovery


Supporter use:

Stabilize the joint with a wrist support

Particularly effective when used at night


Improved holding technique:

- Support with your entire forearm, not your wrist

・Use a baby carrier or cushion

・Hold the baby alternately


stretch:

Gently bend and straighten your wrist with your other hand

30 seconds each time, 3 to 5 times a day

[8th place: 42% experience]


Postpartum constipation and hemorrhoids - solving the problem of "fear of the toilet"

"I never had constipation before giving birth...

Going to the toilet is depressing."


Approximately 42% of mothers experience postpartum constipation and hemorrhoids.

This is a problem that significantly reduces quality of life (QOL).



[Causes of postpartum constipation]


Physical factors:

-Weakened abdominal muscles that have stretched due to pregnancy and childbirth

Relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles

- Tension around the anus due to an episiotomy or tear

- In the case of a cesarean section, the effects of abdominal surgery


Hormonal factors:

- Decreased intestinal peristalsis due to progesterone

-Lack of water for breast milk production


Lifestyle factors:

・Increased sitting time due to breastfeeding

Irregular meal times

- Habit of holding in the toilet



[Effective ways to relieve constipation]


Fluid intake:

2.5 to 3 liters per day (for nursing mothers)

A glass of cold water when you wake up stimulates your intestines


Fiber intake:

The balance between insoluble and soluble is important

Insoluble: vegetables, mushrooms, beans

Water-soluble: seaweed, fruit, oatmeal


Improving intestinal environment:

Active intake of lactic acid bacteria and bifidobacteria

Fermented foods (yogurt, miso, natto)


Exercise therapy:

Start with postpartum exercises and gradually increase the amount of exercise.

Walking and pelvic floor muscle exercises are effective


Establishing bowel habits:

Sitting on the toilet at the same time every morning

Sit for 5 minutes even if you don't need to go to the bathroom



[Types of hemorrhoids and how to treat them]


Hemorrhoids (internal and external hemorrhoids):

Symptoms: bleeding, pain, prolapse

Treatment: Sitz baths, ointment treatments, lifestyle changes


Hemorrhoids (anal fissure):

Symptoms: Severe pain during bowel movements, slight bleeding

Solution: Soften stool, keep the area around the anus clean


How to take a sitz bath:

Soak in 38-40°C water for 5-10 minutes

Do this 2-3 times a day

Using commercially available sitz baths is also effective.

[9th place: 38% experience]


Urinary incontinence and frequent urination - How to improve "fear of sneezing"

"The moment I sneeze...

Is this something that will never heal?"


Approximately 38% of mothers experience postpartum urinary incontinence.

This is a problem that many women struggle with and are unable to seek advice due to embarrassment.



[Mechanism of postpartum urinary incontinence]


Due to pregnancy and childbirth

Stretching and damaging the pelvic floor muscles can cause

The support of the bladder and urethra is weakened.


Leaking urine occurs especially when:

Sneezing and coughing

Lifting heavy objects

・Standing up suddenly

・Going up and down stairs

・Hold the baby



[Pelvic floor muscle exercises (Kegel exercises)]


Basic exercises:

1. Consciously tighten your anus and vagina

2. Hold for 5 seconds

3. Relax slowly

4. 5-second break

5. Repeat this movement 10 times.

6. Do three sets a day


Effective implementation:

- Do this while breastfeeding

・Make use of the time you spend waiting at traffic lights

・When relaxing in the bath


Points to note:

Don't hold your breath

Don't use your abdominal or butt muscles

- Focus only on your pelvic floor muscles



[Ideas for everyday life]


Action tips:

-Tighten your pelvic floor muscles before sneezing

When lifting heavy objects, bend your knees

Avoid sudden movements


Use of underwear and pads:

- Uses a special pad with high water absorption

- Secure with sanitary shorts

・Bring a spare when going out

[10th place: 35% experience]



Pubic pain, lower back pain - Pelvic care for those who find it difficult to even walk

"My pubic bone hurts and I can't walk normally...

When will it get easier?”


Approximately 35% of mothers experience postpartum pubic pain and back pain.

It causes major disruption to daily life.



[Causes of pubic pain]


The hormone relaxin, which is secreted during pregnancy,

Pelvic ligaments loosen,

The pubic symphysis opens during childbirth.


After birth, this binding site returns to its original state.

Pain occurs due to inflammation and instability.



[Symptom characteristics]


Sharp pain in the pubic area

Pain when walking, especially at the beginning

Pain when climbing stairs

Pain when turning over in bed

Pain when standing up



[Correct way to use the pelvic belt]


Mounting position:

The greater trochanter (the protruding part of the thigh bone)

On the line connecting the pubic bones


Tightness:

Fits the size of one palm

Tightening too much can cause poor circulation


Usage time:

Use only during daytime activities

Remove it when you go to bed



[Improvement exercises]


Pelvic tilt exercises:

Lie on your back with your knees bent and your lower back pressed against the floor

Hold for 5 seconds, repeat 10 times


Cat Pose:

On all fours, round and arch your back

10 slow movements


Hip stretches:

In a cross-legged position, bring your knees closer to the floor

Hold for 30 seconds



These symptoms vary from person to person,

With proper care it will definitely improve .


If symptoms are severe or persist,

We recommend that you consult an orthopedic surgeon or obstetrician-gynecologist.

[True Story] A collection of experiences from 100 experienced mothers

Solutions that worked and regrets

"I wish I'd known then" - The honest thoughts of experienced moms


Top 5 effective solutions

From a survey of 100 experienced mothers who have been pregnant for one year,

We will provide you with a carefully selected list of solutions that have truly worked .


These are real voices based on real experiences,

It is packed with valuable wisdom that cannot be gained through theory alone.



[The most effective solution: The courage to not strive for perfection]


"Housework is kept to a minimum, and commercially available baby food is used.

All I wanted was for myself and my baby to be healthy.

The moment I stopped striving to be the perfect mom,

My heart feels lighter and I enjoy raising my children more." (Ms. A, 32 years old)


This "liberation from perfectionism"

This is the solution that 85% of experienced mothers answered as "most important."


Specific implementation methods include:

"If both mother and child can get through the day safely, that's 100 points."

The evaluation criteria were changed.



[Second most effective solution: Blocking information]


"When I see other moms' posts on social media,

"Everyone else is doing so well, but I'm the only one who's not good at it"

Because I get depressed,

I didn't look at social media at all for three months after giving birth.

Instead, I kept one reliable parenting book on hand." (Ms. B, 28 years old)


A particular problem in modern times is

There is growing anxiety due to information overload .


78% of senior moms

"Limiting information has given me peace of mind,"

In particular, we recommend avoiding the following sources:


Social media posts that easily lead to comparisons, online message boards filled with contradictory information,

A blog post that generalizes personal experiences.


Instead, information from reliable medical institutions,

Parenting books supervised by experts,

Direct advice from your doctor or midwife

By narrowing down the sources of information,

It has been reported to significantly reduce anxiety.



[Effective solution number 3: Establishing a routine]


"At first, I thought I would go at my baby's pace,

It was so irregular and exhausting.

From around 2 months of age, create a loose schedule,

Once you have created a routine of "doing this at roughly this time,"

Now that I can predict what will happen, I feel more at ease mentally." (Mr. C, 35 years old)


Ensuring this "predictability" is

Psychologically, it is also effective in reducing anxiety.

73% of experienced mothers practiced this method .


An example of an effective routine is:

Wake up at 7am (even if the baby isn't awake)

Take a walk or take a breather in the morning,

After lunch, there is always a 30-minute break.

From 5pm onwards, it's time to prepare for the next day.

Reserve time for yourself after 9pm

Some of the comments included:



[Effective solution No. 4: Utilizing physical support]


"I swallowed my pride and used all the services available.

Online supermarkets, housekeeping services, temporary childcare,

Family support.

It cost money, but

When weighed against my physical and mental health, it was a small investment." (D, 30 years old)


Regarding this "utilization of external services,"

91% of experienced moms who have used the service said, "I wish I had started using it sooner."

He answered, ``Yes.''


The services that proved particularly effective were:

Cleaning and laundry provided by housekeeping service once a week,

Complete rest with temporary childcare twice a month;

Reduced shopping time through online supermarkets,

Ensuring nutrition through food delivery services

were mentioned.



[Number 5 effective solution: Putting your feelings into words]


"Every night, write down how you felt that day, even if it's just three lines.

I decided to write it down in a notebook.

"I'm tired today" "The baby was cute"

"I was annoyed with my husband," etc.

If you write down anything,

My mind is clearer and I can sleep better." (Mr. E, 26 years old)


This "externalization of emotions"

It is a technique also used in cognitive behavioral therapy.

67% of experienced mothers continued to practice this method .


Particularly effective was

How to quantify emotions on a five-point scale

The habit of always writing down one good thing that happened.

Record your hopes and goals for the next day

And so on.

"Looking back, it was all a waste of effort" Top 3 regrets of experienced moms

Not just success stories,

There are also things I regret, thinking, "I shouldn't have done it."

It's a valuable lesson for new moms.



[Regret No. 1: Overbuying childcare items]


"When I was pregnant, I looked at parenting magazines.

Items that are labeled as "convenient" or "essential"

I bought them all.

As a result, there was a lot of unused goods left over.

The room is full of things,

It just increased the stress of cleaning up." (Mr. F, 29 years old)


What was actually needed was about one-third of what I expected.

This was the common view of 80% of experienced mothers.


The items that were truly needed were:

Basic diapers, clothing, and nursing supplies;

A reliable thermometer

Easy-to-use baby bottle (for emergencies even when breastfeeding),

1 good quality swaddling cloth,

nasal aspirator

Only.


On the other hand, the items I regret buying are:

An expensive stroller (a baby carrier is enough at first),

Electric bouncer (short period of use),

Baby products with too many functions (complicated to operate),

A lot of newborn clothes (they quickly outgrow them)

And so on.



Regret #2: Insistence on perfect breastfeeding


"I was bound by the information that 'breast milk is the best,'

Even if the amount of breast milk is insufficient, the baby stubbornly refuses milk,

My baby has had poor weight gain.

I wish I had been more flexible in my thinking sooner." (Mr. G, 33 years old)


The regret caused by this "excessive adherence to child-rearing principles" is

72% of experienced mothers have experienced this .


The most common examples of fixation were:

A strong commitment to exclusive breastfeeding

The absolute necessity of co-sleeping or holding the baby to get them to sleep,

Excessive sense of responsibility for homemade baby food,

Feeling anxious about early education and extracurricular activities

Some of the comments included:


The most common reasons cited for recovery were:

"The health and development of the baby is the top priority."

It was a matter of sorting out values.



Regret #3: Excessive comparison with others


"My friend's baby, who was born at the same time as me,

I always compare,

"That kid already sleeps through the night."

"My child is developmentally delayed"

I was anxious every day.

Looking back, it was only natural that each of them had their own unique personalities." (H, 27 years old)


This "self-denial through comparison"

The problems that modern mothers face include:

68% of experienced mothers have experienced this.


Items that tend to be compared include:

Nighttime sleep time and feeding intervals

Growth indicators such as weight and height,

Developmental stages such as neck support and sitting

Progress of baby food,

Mom's own recovery rate

Some of the comments included:


The trigger to break out of this vicious cycle was

"Comparing my child to 'yesterday'"

It was a change of perspective.


Not another baby

By comparing my child with yesterday, last week, and last month,

You can feel the steady growth,

Many people have reported that it has helped them regain their confidence.

Important lessons learned from my relationship with my husband

Regarding marital relationships after childbirth

There are particularly important lessons to be learned from experienced mothers.

Many were sent in.



Communicate expectations clearly


"I want you to understand" "I want you to understand without me having to say anything"

This expectation doesn't apply after giving birth.

"Please cook dinner tonight."

"Please take care of the baby between 7pm and 9pm."

Since I started to communicate specifically like this,

My husband is now more mobile, and our relationship has improved." (Ms. I, 31 years old)


"Express gratitude even when you think it's something you should be grateful for"


"Childcare is a husband's responsibility, so there's no need to be grateful.

I thought so, but

Just the words "Thank you for your hard work" and "Thank you"

I realized that my husband's motivations were completely different.

I decided to prioritize profit over pride." (J, 34 years old)


"Don't expect perfection, just ask for help."


"At first I didn't like the way my husband did things.

In the end I ended up redoing it myself.

But I'd rather have someone help me even if I only get 70 points.

Once I realized that it was easier than doing it alone with 100 points,

I can now say, 'Thank you, this is a big help.'" (Mr. K, 25 years old)


What these experiences have in common is that

It is an attitude that emphasizes practicality over idealism .


Rather than pursuing the ideal form of a marital relationship,

By building relationships that actually work,

Senior moms who have survived the difficult postpartum period

They made up the majority.

[Q&A Part 2]

Criteria for determining an emergency and signs that you should go to the hospital

Baby's Danger Signs and Mom's Limit Signs

Criteria for determining if your baby is "not acting right"

Warning signs you shouldn't overlook

The biggest worry for new moms is

"Should I go to the hospital for these symptoms? Is it okay to just wait and see?"

That is our decision.


Under the supervision of experienced pediatricians and midwives,

We will provide you with clear criteria for evaluation .



[Criteria for determining urgency levels]


Level 3 [Emergency Room Immediately]:


If you have any of the following symptoms:

Do not hesitate to visit the emergency room.


Respiratory symptoms include:

Shallow, rapid breathing (more than 60 breaths per minute)

Your chest and stomach sink in when you breathe,

Face turns blue or purple,

There is a time when you stop breathing.


Symptoms related to consciousness include:

Not responding to calls,

Limp and motionless,

Convulsions (shaking limbs),

He is in an extremely bad mood and won't stop crying no matter what you do.


Symptoms related to temperature include:

A fever of 38°C or higher in a child under 3 months of age

Body temperature below 36°C (hypothermia).


Other symptoms include:

Repeated vomiting and inability to drink fluids

Bloody stool or excessive diarrhea,

I haven't been able to urinate for more than 6 hours.



Level 2 [Visit a pediatrician by the next day]:


If you have the following symptoms:

Please be sure to visit the pediatrician on the next appointment day.


Fever of 38°C or higher for 24 hours in children aged 3 months or older

Even after the fever subsides, the patient continues to feel lethargic.


Regarding breastfeeding and feeding:

Drinking less than half of your usual amount for 12 hours

Vomiting after every feeding.


Regarding excretion,

No bowel movements for more than three days,

Watery stools 8 or more times a day

The urine is dark in color and the amount is significantly less.


Regarding the skin,

A rash spreading all over the body

Yellow skin (jaundice) persists beyond the first two weeks of life.



Level 1 [Progress observation/Consultation at next health checkup]:


The following symptoms are generally not a problem if you wait and see,

Talk to your doctor at your next checkup.


As minor symptoms,

A slight fever of less than 37.5 degrees

Runny nose and mild cough (no difficulty breathing)

1-2 episodes of vomiting (then feeling fine),

Mild eczema and infant eczema

Minor changes in stool color or shape.

Moms' "Limit Signs" - Physical and Mental Symptoms That Don't Cause Problems

Just as important as your baby's health is

Mommy is in charge of her own health .


Postpartum mothers feel a sense of responsibility as mothers

I tend to underestimate my own condition,

If you have the following symptoms:

Please consult a medical institution immediately .



[Physical Limit Signs]


Urgent consultation with an obstetrician/gynecologist is required:


Regarding lochia:

Heavy bleeding of fresh blood one month after giving birth

Large liver-shaped blood clots

The foul-smelling lochia continues.


As fever,

Fever of 38°C or higher (especially accompanied by chills),

Fever accompanied by redness and swelling of the breasts.


As pain,

Severe pain in the lower abdomen,

Perineal pain that makes it difficult to walk

Severe pain when urinating and blood in the urine.



[Mental Limit Signs]


Consultation with a psychosomatic or psychiatric specialist is required:


As a mood symptom,

severely depressed mood lasting for more than two weeks,

No interest or pleasure in anything

Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or your baby

I think about death frequently.


As a change in behavior,

I can't take care of the baby

Not being able to eat (or overeating)

inability to sleep (or sleeping excessively),

Unable to make everyday decisions.



[24-hour consultation desk]


Nationwide number:

#8000 (pediatric emergency telephone consultation)

Nurses and pediatricians provide advice over the phone


Lifeline:

0570-783-556 (24 hours)

Counseling in mental crisis situations


Local government health centers:

Specialized consultation on maternal and child health

Public health nurse visits are also available

"What to do in these situations?" Emergency Response Manual

This is actually more likely to occur one month after giving birth

We will explain how to respond to an emergency situation .



[Ingestion and aspiration by babies]


Steps to take:


If conscious,

Place the baby face down on your lap

Slap your back five times with the palm of your hand

Next, lie on your back and press the center of your chest with two fingers five times.

Repeat this process until the foreign object is removed.


If unconscious,

Immediately call 119.

CPR continued until emergency services arrived.



[Fall and tripping accidents]


Steps to take:


First, hold the baby still and check for consciousness and breathing.

If the child is unconscious, vomiting, or crying excessively, call an ambulance.

Even if you are conscious and functioning normally,

Observe closely for 24 hours

If there is any abnormality, seek medical attention immediately.



[High fever due to mastitis]


Steps to take:


If you have a fever of 38.5 degrees or higher,

Contact an obstetrics and gynecology department or breastfeeding clinic,

Continue frequent breastfeeding until the appointment.

If the fever exceeds 39 degrees, use antipyretics (acetaminophen)

Make sure to drink plenty of fluids and get plenty of rest.



[Hyperventilation and panic symptoms in mothers]


Steps to take:


Sit in a safe place and take a few slow, deep breaths.

Cover your mouth and nose with a paper or plastic bag

Re-inhale your own breath (about 5 minutes)

If symptoms do not improve, call an ambulance

Ask family members or neighbors to watch over your baby.



[Importance of collecting and recording information]


In an emergency, it is difficult to make calm decisions.

Advance preparation is important.


Information you should have ready:


Contact details for your regular pediatrician and obstetrician/gynecologist,

Location and contact details of the nearest emergency hospital

Baby's basic information (date of birth, birth weight, allergies, etc.),

Where to keep your maternal and child health handbook and health insurance card,

Contact details for family and friends who can be relied upon in an emergency.


How to record your symptoms:


time of onset and duration,

Details of symptoms (color, amount, frequency, etc.),

Immediate situation (breastfeeding, sleeping, going out, etc.),

The solutions you have tried and their effectiveness

A specific description of the difference from normal.


These records are of great help to doctors in making diagnoses.

leads to appropriate treatment.



What's most important is,

Our attitude is, "If you're unsure, ask for advice."


Healthcare professionals address new mothers' concerns

They will respond to you in a friendly manner.


"Is it okay to ask for advice on something like this?"

There is absolutely no need to be hesitant about this.


The health of the baby and mother comes first.

A ray of hope after two months postpartum

The pain you feel now won't last forever

Development by age and when childcare becomes easier

Scientific evidence that "it will definitely make you feel better"


Brain science proves changes in parenting

Now, one month after giving birth,

"How long will this difficulty continue?"

For moms who are worried about this.


Parenting definitely gets easier.


This is not wishful thinking,

This is a scientific fact based on neuroscience and developmental psychology .



[Changes due to baby's brain development]


From around 2 months of age, the baby's brain

A dramatic change will occur.


Prefrontal cortex development:

Between 8 and 12 weeks of age,

The areas of the brain that control emotions develop rapidly,

Crying time decreases by 2-3 hours per day.


Establishing circadian rhythms:

At 3-4 months of age, babies begin to distinguish between day and night,

Sleep for 4 to 6 hours at night.


The emergence of social smiling:

At 6-8 weeks of age, they begin to smile intentionally,

It makes parent-child interaction much more enjoyable.



Changes in the mother's brain


The postpartum mother's brain

They undergo adaptive changes over time.


Stabilization of the maternal circuit:

Three to six months after giving birth, the neural circuits in the brain related to childcare become stable,

Improved intuitive judgement.


Normalizing the stress response:

By about six months after birth,

Normalizes the secretion pattern of stress hormones,

Emotional stability is restored.


Restoring efficient thinking:

8 to 12 months after birth,

Recover to pre-pregnancy cognitive function levels,

It also improves your multitasking ability.

Developmental calendar by age: "This is where it gets easier"

Specifically, when and what will become easier?

We will provide you with a detailed forecast by month .



[2 months old: the first turning point]


Ease of mind:

When you soothe your baby, he will start laughing, and you will be able to experience the joy of child-rearing.

Crying time reduced by 1-2 hours per day

Feeding intervals become stable at 3-4 hours

The amount of luggage and preparation time required when going out is reduced by about half.


New Challenges:

Vaccination schedule management,

Pay attention to the development of the baby's ability to hold its head up.

The real start of creating a day and night rhythm.



[3 months after birth: a major period of stability]


Ease of mind:

The baby's neck is strong and it becomes much easier to hold.

Sleeping for 4-5 hours at night

You'll notice a clear increase in the amount of time you spend in a good mood.

You won't have to worry about where to breastfeed when you're out and about.


New Challenges:

Gathering information on preparing baby food,

Safety measures for turning over in bed,

Prepare for the onset of shyness.



[4-5 months: A period of dramatic change]


Ease of mind:

Sleeping through the night more than half the time each week

The time they can play alone is 30 minutes to 1 hour.

Emotional expression becomes richer and communication becomes more enjoyable.

When you go out, your baby can stay calm in the stroller.


New Challenges:

Starting solid food,

Strengthening safety measures by turning over;

How to deal with crankiness caused by teething.



[After 6 months: The joys of childcare]


Ease of mind:

Now that they can sit up, the ways they play become more diverse.

Baby food stabilizes nutritional intake,

Improved resistance to infections,

You can see your growth and feel a sense of accomplishment.


New Challenges:

Measures to prevent accidents caused by crawling,

Managing the progress of weaning food,

Dealing with shyness and following others.

To myself one year from now: What my current experience will give me

The difficulty now, one month after giving birth,

It's by no means a meaningless struggle .


This experience will change you in a year.

It gives you an invaluable asset.



[Abilities acquired]


Improved intuition:

The ability to sense subtle changes in your baby

It will improve your observation skills in all aspects of human relationships.


Prioritization skills:

With limited time and energy

You will gain the judgement to get the most out of it.


Crisis management ability:

Ability to respond to unexpected situations

Your ability to make calm decisions will be greatly improved.


Deepening empathy:

Through my own experience,

It fosters understanding and support for others.



[Mental growth]


Gaining patience:

By overcoming the frustration of not being able to do things that you used to be able to do,

It develops true patience.


Establishing self-esteem:

The success experience of "overcoming difficult times"

It's a lifelong source of confidence.


Understanding Unconditional Love:

The meaning of giving without expecting anything in return,

This is a valuable opportunity to understand this firsthand.



[Report from a senior mom after one year]


"One month after giving birth, I thought this difficulty would last forever.

But looking back now, it was because of that time that I was able to

I think I can truly feel the happiness I have now.

The joy of watching your baby grow

Deepening the bond with my husband,

Discovering your own strength.

It all started during that difficult time” (Mama L, one year later).


"What I want to tell my younger self is,

"If you can get through today, tomorrow will be a little easier."

Really, little by little each day,

It will definitely get easier.

And rather than the difficult memories,

Happy memories tend to stay with you longer." (Mother M, one year later)



[Final message]


At this very moment, I feel so much love for my baby,

For those of you who are exhausted both physically and mentally.


You are already a great mom .


It doesn't have to be perfect.

Today, you and your baby

If you're staying healthy and safe,

That's great parenting in itself.


Even now as you read this article,

Your baby is sure to grow

You are also growing as a mother.


There is no night that will not end.

There is no never-ending newborn period.

Spring will surely come.


Until that day, one day at a time

Please walk with care.


You are not alone.

The path that many experienced mothers have taken,

This time you're walking.


And a few months later,

To new moms who are struggling with the same issues

"It's okay, it'll definitely get easier"

The day will surely come when you will be able to say to yourself,



Thank you for your hard work.

Please take a good rest.