When should we go to the shrine visit?

Disclosure of all costs, mother-in-law issues, and postpartum depression support

Full cost of shrine visit revealed

What can you do with a budget of 150,000 yen? Tips for saving money

We will fully disclose the actual costs incurred in the shrine visit.

"How much does a shrine visit actually cost?"


Many sites give vague answers to this question.

However, what moms and dads want to know most is the "specific amount."


So, here are the costs for the families we have helped:

It will be published with permission.



[In the case of Mr. A's family: total amount: 148,000 yen]

・First offering: 10,000 yen

・Baby kimono rental: 25,000 yen

・Mom's visiting kimono rental: 30,000 yen

・Dad's suit cleaning: 3,000 yen

・Professional photography: 60,000 yen

・Meal (6 people including grandparents): 18,000 yen

・Transportation and other expenses: 2,000 yen


Did you feel it was more expensive than you expected?


Or did you feel it was cheaper than you expected?



In reality, there is a wide range in this amount.

If you are conscious of saving money, it is possible to spend 30,000 yen,

If you're particular, it can cost over 300,000 yen.

"Is 5,000 yen a small offering?" The shrine's true feelings

"Is 5,000 yen a small amount for the first offering? I wonder if I'll feel embarrassed..."


This is actually a concern that many mothers have.


I will share the honest thoughts I heard directly from the shrine's chief priest.



"The most important thing is your feelings, not the amount of money."


In fact, according to what I heard from the chief priest of a famous shrine in Tokyo, the average first offering is as follows:


・5,000 yen: Approximately 30%

・10,000 yen: Approximately 50%

・Over 15,000 yen: Approximately 20%


In other words, 30% of people spend 5,000 yen.

It's not a small amount and there's nothing to be embarrassed about.


What's important is the desire for the baby to grow up healthy.

Save money wisely! 5 ways to cut the cost of a shrine visit in half

"I want to keep costs as low as possible, but I don't want to seem stingy..."


Here are some ways to keep costs down while still maintaining quality.


1. Take advantage of weekday discounts

Many photo studios offer 30-40% off weekday rates.

You might even get a better deal if you go on Mondays or Tuesdays.


2. Rent a kimono rather than buy one

Most babies' kimonos are only worn once.

Renting (10,000-30,000 yen) is much more cost-effective than buying (50,000-100,000 yen).


3. Focus on taking selfies

The professional photography was limited to one or two shots, with the main focus being family photography.

Modern smartphone cameras are capable of taking beautiful photos.


4. Choose an izakaya-style restaurant with private rooms for meals

Not a high-end restaurant (5,000-8,000 yen per person),

Even an izakaya with private rooms (2,000-3,000 yen per person) can create a celebratory atmosphere.


5. Get your grandparents to "help" you

Rather than directly asking them to "pay money,"

If you ask, "If only I could pay for the photos..."

It doesn't have any sharp edges.

When should you go to the shrine?

Over 100 days, Caesarean section, homecoming

Complete Guide to Timing

"100 days have passed..." Why not let go of that guilt?

"It's already 110 days old... is it too late?"


it's okay.

Let me show you some actual data.



[Survey on the actual timing of shrine visits (survey conducted by our store: 2024)]

・Within 30 days of age: 15%

31-60 days old: 35%

61-100 days old: 30%

・101 days or older: 20%


Amazingly, one in five couples wait until the 100th day before their baby's first shrine visit.


It's never "too late."

Rather, it is better to wait until both the baby and the mother are in good health.

You can visit the shrine with peace of mind.

The "When is it okay to start again?" question for C-section moms

"I had a C-section, so the scar still hurts...

When will it be okay?”


I hear about this problem a lot.


I will share the medical opinion I got from an obstetrician-gynecologist.



[Approximate time for shrine visit after cesarean section]


6 weeks after surgery: basic physical recovery

・8 weeks after surgery: You can go out for long periods of time

・10 weeks after surgery: Completely able to go about your daily life


However, this is just a guideline.

Recovery varies from person to person, so don't push yourself too hard.


Rather than feeling like "I'll end up being slower than everyone else..."

It is important to prioritize the health of mother and baby.



In fact, Ms. C, who helped us at our store,

The baby's shrine visit took place four months after the cesarean section.



"It was good that I was in good health.

I was able to relax and enjoy the time with my baby."

He said,

Returning to one's hometown to give birth: "Which shrine should I go to, my hometown or my current address?"

"I gave birth at my hometown, so I visited a local shrine,

Is this the right thing to do?"


This problem is also unique to modern times.


We will teach you Shinto thinking and practical countermeasures.



[Traditional thinking]

Ubusunagami: God of the land where you were born

Ujigamisama: the god of the land where you live


[Modern thinking]

The health of the baby and mother is the top priority, and we provide care in a comfortable environment.


When I actually checked with the shrine's chief priest,

"Either way is fine," he said.


It's not the place that matters,

"The family's desire for the baby to grow up."


Visiting the shrine in my hometown,

Many people later visit the local shrine in their area to give thanks.

Q&A: Common "when" worries

Q. Is it okay to use it in the middle of winter (December to February) or midsummer (July to August)?

A. Take proper measures to protect your baby from the cold and heat, taking into consideration their body's ability to regulate their body temperature.

Especially in midsummer, we recommend early morning (8am-10am).


Q. Can I go to a shrine even if I'm on my period?

A. It is considered not a problem in modern times.

If you have any concerns, please check with the shrine in advance.


Q. Should I postpone if my baby is not feeling well?

A. Don't hesitate to postpone.

Your baby's health is your top priority.

Breastfeeding, changing diapers, and leaking urine

Complete emergency response manual for shrines

"Where should I breastfeed?" How to find a place to breastfeed at a shrine

"What if the baby gets hungry during the shrine visit...?"


This concern is very real and important.


We will share with you the results of our survey of 100 shrines across the country.



[Survey on breastfeeding environments at shrines]

・Nursing rooms available: 20%

・Rest areas and waiting rooms available: 45%

・Recommended breastfeeding in the car: 30%

・Guide to nearby facilities: 5%


This means that 65% of shrines provide some kind of place for breastfeeding.


But it's important to check beforehand.

Be sure to ask when you make your reservation.



[Three tips for finding a place to breastfeed]


1. Contact in advance to check whether or not there is a nursing room

"I'm traveling with a small baby. Is there a place where I can breastfeed?"

This one word will show that the shrine is considerate.


2. A nursing cover is a must-have item

This allows for privacy when breastfeeding in waiting rooms or rest areas.

Choose something that is lightweight and easy to carry.


3. Consider breastfeeding in the car

Breastfeeding in your car in the shrine's parking lot is also an option.

It's a good idea to have sunshades or curtains.

"Poo leak" emergency! What should you do then?

On the day of the shrine visit, right after dressing him in his kimono, he "leaked a poop"...


In fact, surprisingly many families have had this experience.


Here's how to deal with it without panicking.



[5 steps to deal with a poop leak emergency]


Step 1: Take a deep breath

Panic won't solve the problem. Just accept that this is a common occurrence.


Step 2: First aid for dirty areas

Gently wipe with a wet tissue.

Press down without rubbing.


Step 3: Changing clothes

Quickly change into a spare kimono or everyday clothes.

Please check with the shrine to make sure that everyday clothes are okay.


Step 4: Dealing with dirty items

Seal it in a plastic bag and take it home.

If it is a rental item, you can return it as is (cleaning costs are covered by insurance)


Step 5: Change your mindset

The family laughed about it as a typical baby incident.



In fact, Mr. D's family experienced a poop leak just before the shrine visit.


"Looking back on it, it was a good memory. I laugh every time I look at the photo."

He said,

You can change diapers here at the shrine.

"There's no place to change diapers..."


We will introduce what to do in such situations and places where you can change diapers.



[Places where you can change diapers at the shrine]


1. Nursing room/baby room

They are often installed at large shrines.

Advance confirmation required


2. Multipurpose toilets

Wheelchair-accessible toilets may also have diaper changing stations.

Check the cleanliness in advance


3. A corner of the shrine office

If you ask the shrine staff, they will often lend you space.

"Excuse me, is there anywhere I can change your diaper?"


4. Inside the car

The most reliable and hygienic

It's convenient to have a seat that folds flat



[Items you must bring when changing diapers]


・Diaper changing sheet (disposable type)

・Spare diapers (double the usual amount)

・Baby wipes (thick type)

- Plastic bags (with odor prevention function)

・Hand disinfectant

Q&A: Measures to prevent unexpected incidents on the day

Q. What if my baby cries loudly at the shrine?

A. Go outside and calm down.

The people at the shrine are used to it, so there's no need to be shy.


Q. What if my nursing pads leak?

A. Bring extra nursing pads and hand towels.

You can also hide it with a jacket or cardigan.


Q. What if I run out of hot water for the milk?

A. You can usually get hot water at the shrine office.

Be sure to ask in advance, "Can I borrow hot water for the milk?"

Complete solution to mother-in-law and mother-in-law problems

Family relationships at the shrine visit

Trouble avoidance techniques

"My mother-in-law keeps interfering..." What to do when that happens

"That kimono is low-class."

"The shrine must be our guardian deity."

"This is the only place for a dinner party..."


Have you ever experienced your mother-in-law interfering like this?


70% of the problems that people actually consult us about are

It's about a disagreement with my mother-in-law.



But it's okay.

There is a way to make things go smoothly without causing any friction.



[Three golden rules for dealing with your mother-in-law]


1. Accept the message with "Thank you for letting me know"

First, show gratitude,

It satisfies your mother-in-law's desire to teach you.

Then, "But there are circumstances..."

Express your opinion gently.


2. Get your husband to intervene

Avoid direct confrontation and communicate through your husband.

"There is something that Mrs. XX (my wife) is worried about,

Can you talk to your mother about it?"

I would like to ask my husband this way.


3. "For the baby" is the excuse

"Considering the baby's health..."

"My physical condition after giving birth is..."

For this reason, your mother-in-law will be less likely to object.

Mother vs. Mother-in-law: "Whose opinion should I listen to?"

"My mother says, 'Let's keep it quiet and just be with our family,' but

My mother-in-law said, "Let's have a big celebration with all the relatives..."


There are a lot of moms who are caught between a rock and a hard place.


Here are some actual examples of solutions.



[The solution story of Mr. and Mrs. E]


Mother: "Because of COVID, it's just the family."

Mother-in-law: "Since we're here, let's invite our relatives too."


So what E did was...



The proposal was for a two-part system.


Morning: Visit to the shrine (parents of both families only)

Afternoon: Dinner party (including relatives)


"Morning visits are sacred times, so only family members are allowed.

Afternoon meal for relatives

I want to introduce you to my baby."


This proposal convinced both mothers.



[Tips for finding win-win solutions]


・Listen to each person's "true feelings"

・Rather than completely standing on one side,

Think of a plan that both parties feel makes a small compromise

・Focus on "what's best for your baby"

"My family relationships are awkward..." How to keep your cool when that happens

With the shrine visit as a starting point,

Family relationships may become strained.


"Maybe I should just hold back..."


Maybe some moms feel the same way.


But you don't have to deal with it alone.



Three ways to make you feel better


1. The perfect shrine visit doesn't exist.

It is impossible to have a shrine visit that satisfies everyone 100%.

I felt like "80 points would be a good result."


2. The baby is the star

Rather than adult convenience or face,

The feelings of the baby and mom/dad come first.

If you think, "For the baby's sake,"

The priorities become clear.


3. It's not just a one-off relationship

A family relationship that will last for decades to come.

A relationship is not determined by one shrine visit.

Take a long-term view and maintain a reasonable distance.

Q&A: Family relationship consultation

Q. I get tired of trying to please both my mother-in-law and my own mother.

A. Don't strive for perfection.

The fact that "both were taken into consideration" is sufficient.

If dissatisfaction results, that's unavoidable.


Q. My husband doesn't understand the dilemma I face as a family member.

A. Please explain the specific situation.

"My mother says ○○, and my mother says △△, and I'm having trouble with that."

Giving specific examples like this will help your husband understand the situation more easily.


Q. Our relationship remains strained even after the shrine visit.

A. Time often solves the problem.

Don't try to repair it by force,

Let's start with a basic greeting.

Uncooperative husband/single mother

Shrine visit for non-religious families

"My husband won't help me at all..." - A realistic solution

"A shrine visit? That sounds like a pain."

"Do I need to take a photo?"

"I'm busy with work."


To her husband who reacted like that,

My frustration is only growing...


But there's no need to give up.


There are specific ways to get your husband's cooperation.



[Five strategies to get your husband involved]


1. Emphasize your role as a father

"For babies, visiting the shrine with their father is

Let us know how much it means to you.

When men become aware of their "fatherly responsibilities"

It often changes behavior.


2. Present specific roles

You may be thinking, "I don't know what to do."

"Please only make reservations for the shrine" "Please only drive on the day"

Give them clear roles, such as:


3. Emphasize "memorable"

"These will be photos to show your children in the future."

"It will be a precious memory for the family."

Communicating long-term value

Sometimes your husband changes his mind.


4. Get your husband's parents to persuade you

My mother-in-law and father-in-law said it was my responsibility as a son.

It's also effective to get them to talk.

A word from my father-in-law in particular had a big impact.


5. Finally, he declared, "I'll go alone."

"If you won't cooperate, I'll go alone."

Many husbands rush to cooperate after hearing this declaration.

Even if you're a single mother, you can still visit the shrine alone!

"Will it be lonely to visit the shrine alone?"

"I'm worried about what others think..."


For single mothers who have such concerns.


Visiting a shrine alone is not uncommon.



[The reality of single mothers visiting shrines]

Among the customers we have helped are:

Approximately 15% are single mothers.


You all look so beautiful and proud

They have gone to the shrine for a visit.



[Tips for a successful shrine visit alone]


1. Consult with the shrine in advance

When I told him, "I'm visiting alone,"

Sometimes the shrine staff will make special arrangements for you.

I can ask for help with taking photos.


2. Ask a trusted friend to accompany you

Even if there is no blood relationship,

"I want my close friends to see my baby in his finery"

Let's ask him.


3. Always request professional photos

It's difficult to take a selfie by yourself,

A professional photographer is a must.

Not a "family photo" but a "mother and child commemorative photo"

Let's leave it beautiful.


4. Don't forget to treat yourself

After the visit, with the baby

Take a break at your favorite cafe.

Please reward yourself for your hard work.

"I don't understand the religious meaning" of shrine visits for non-religious families

"I don't believe in God or anything, so does a shrine visit have any meaning?"


It's true that there are many non-religious families these days.


However, the shrine visit is not just for religious reasons.



[Three meanings of modern shrine visits]


1. Family milestone ceremonies

A baby is born and our family enters a new stage

As a memorable milestone.

Even if it has no religious significance,

It has value as a "family anniversary."


2. Public Presentation

"A new family member has been added to the community and relatives"

This is a place to report.

This has nothing to do with religion, it's a social thing.


3. Preserving traditional culture

As a Japanese cultural event,

Tell your child, "There's a custom like this."

and an opportunity to teach.

It can also be seen as part of cultural education.



[How to pray in a non-religious household]


・At shrines, worship with proper etiquette

・The prayer is for the baby's health and growth

・It's more like making a promise than asking for something.

- Mainly focus on photography

Q&A: Concerns about diverse family structures

Q. I am in a common-law marriage. Can I still have a shrine visit?

A. Of course it is possible.

There is no particular confirmation at the shrine.

Please visit with dignity.


Q. I'm remarried and have children from a previous marriage. How should I explain this?

A. No special explanation is needed.

"I'll be visiting with my family" is enough.

People at the shrine do not pry into family structure.


Q. My foreign husband doesn't understand the meaning of the shrine visit.

A. Explain it as a "Japanese cultural event."

Like "Christmas" or "Thanksgiving"

It's easier to understand if you explain that it's like a family event.

Don't push yourself even if you have postpartum depression or are feeling unwell

Gentle on mom's mind and body

Shrine visit

"I'm not in the mood..." Postpartum depression is okay

"I know I have to go to the shrine visit, but

I just don't feel like it..."


Symptoms of postpartum depression,

There are times when you just don't feel motivated to do anything.


In such cases, there is no need to force yourself.



[Postpartum depression symptom checklist]

✓ Nothing I do is fun

✓ Tears for no reason

✓ Extreme fatigue

✓ Loss of concentration

✓ I don't understand love for my baby

✓ Blaming yourself


If three or more apply,

It could be postpartum depression.


But that doesn't mean it's Mom's fault.

Due to changes in hormone balance,

It's a natural body reaction.

"It's okay if it's not perfect" How to adjust your shrine visit

Even when you are suffering from postpartum depression or poor health,

There's no need to give up on the shrine visit.


There are ways to minimize the burden on mothers.



[Shrine visit plan tailored to your physical condition]


Level 1: Minimal plan

・Praying at the shrine only (approximately 30 minutes)

・No photography (only recording with a smartphone)

・No dinner party

・Participants are only husband and baby


Level 2: Simple Plan

・Praying at a shrine (30 minutes)

・Self-photography (15 minutes)

・A simple meal at a nearby family restaurant

Parents from both families also participate


Level 3: Standard Plan

・Praying at a shrine (1 hour)

・Professional photography (30 minutes)

・Dinner party in a private room

・Participation including relatives


Choose a level that is comfortable for you based on your physical condition.


"Even the bare minimum is much more meaningful than not doing anything."

Cherish this feeling.

"I don't get any understanding from those around me..." How to explain this to your family

"Why can't you just do it normally?"

"It's all about attitude, right?"


Are you hurt by these words from your family?


Postpartum depression and poor health

Because "it's not obvious from appearance,"

The reality is that it is difficult to understand.



How to effectively communicate with your family


1. Provide a medical explanation

"Postpartum hormonal changes change how the brain works."

"It's temporary and will definitely improve."

Providing scientific evidence makes it easier to understand.


2. Communicate specific symptoms

"It's so hard to get up in the morning"

"I get palpitations when I'm in a crowd"

Not abstract expressions, but concrete symptoms.


3. Provide an outlook for "how long"

"Doctors say it usually improves within 3-6 months."

"It's just a situation for now, not permanent."

When there is an end in sight, family members are more likely to cooperate.


4. Express your gratitude

"Thank you for understanding."

"It really helps to have your cooperation."

Expressing gratitude improves relationships.

"Don't handle it alone" - How to create a support system

During the period of postpartum depression and poor health,

The most important thing is not to try to do it alone.


But I don't know where to turn...

For those of you who are in this situation, we would like to introduce some specific support options.



[List of reliable support sources]


1. Medical

・Obstetrician-gynecologist (health consultation)

・Psychiatry/psychosomatic medicine (mental aspects)

・Midwife (general childcare)


2. Administrative Services

・Public health nurse at the health center

・Childcare support center

・Postpartum care programs (by local governments)


3. Private Services

・Postpartum doula (housework and childcare support)

・Babysitter

・Housekeeping services


4. People close to you

・Mother/mother-in-law

A trusted friend

・Mom friends in the same situation



There's no shame in relying on others.

"Mom needs to stay healthy for the baby"

This is the most important thing.

Q&A: Postpartum health and shrine visits

Q. Is it okay to go to the shrine visit even if I am taking medication for postpartum depression?

A. Basically, there is no problem.

However, if the side effects are severe,

Make it a short plan.


Q. What if I suddenly feel unwell on the day?

A. Please cancel without hesitation.

The shrine will understand if you make a change due to poor health.

You don't have to worry about cancellation fees.


Q. My family says I'm being spoiled.

A. Postpartum depression is not a sign of weakness, it is an illness.

If necessary, get instructions from your doctor

Consider showing it to your family.