Raising a 10-month-old and 11-month-old baby
Cannot stand up by holding onto something/Sudden crying at night
"My baby is 10 months old and still can't stand up..."
"My baby isn't gaining weight at all and is off the growth chart..."
"My baby suddenly started crying at night and wouldn't sleep until morning..."
If you are a mother raising a baby who is 10 or 11 months old, you may have had these concerns.
Due to chronic lack of sleep and the fatigue of child-rearing, you may find yourself worrying alone, wondering, "Maybe I'm not raising my child properly."
But in many cases, these worries are just an over-thinking.
Every baby has their own pace.
In this guide, let's think together about concerns that are unique to this stage, such as baby standing up, language development, and night crying.
By the time you finish reading, I hope you will be watching over your child with the feeling that "my child is growing into his or her own child."
1. Is it really okay if my child won't stand up by holding onto something?
Worried about poor weight gain and development? Here's why it's okay to keep an eye on your baby until he or she is 1 year and 3 months old
"He's 10 or 11 months old, but he still can't stand up..."
"He's not gaining weight and he's fallen off the growth curve..."
There is one thing I would like mothers who are worried about this to know first.
In fact, it is okay for your baby to be able to stand up by holding onto something between the ages of 8 months and 1 year and 3 months .
According to the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare's physical development data, the standard weight for 10-11 month olds is 7.3-10.6 kg for boys and 6.9-10.1 kg for girls.
If you stay within this range, there is no need to worry even if you are having difficulty gaining weight.
This is because babies' physical activity increases dramatically around 10 and 11 months of age, and they burn a lot of calories by crawling and crawling.
In fact, the slower weight gain during this period is a sign that your baby's body is growing properly .
Also, regarding concerns that your child may have developmental problems, it is too early to judge at 10 or 11 months of age.
According to pediatric neurologists, a definitive diagnosis is difficult to make until the child is three years old or older .
The main reasons why a child won't stand up are:
・Enjoying the crawling stage
- Adjusting the balance between weight and muscle strength
・I am a cautious person and check safety
These are all important parts of your baby's personality and development.
2. Respect the individuality of babies who move around on their bottoms
How to support your child who doesn't crawl or put their feet up...
"My child doesn't crawl, he moves around by sitting..."
This is a remarkable growth pattern known as a "shuffling baby."
The characteristics of shuffling babies are:
・Move by pedaling while sitting
- Reflex to put one's hands forward is not seen very often
・Reluctant to put feet on the floor
・They start walking slowly, between 1.5 and 2 years old
Even if these symptoms occur, most children will eventually be able to walk properly .
The parachute reflex is a reflex that causes you to put your hands forward to protect yourself when you are about to fall forward.
It is said to appear around 10 or 11 months of age, but there is a lot of individual variation, so in most cases there is no need to worry even if it is delayed .
When lovingly supporting a baby who doesn't want to put their feet up, the most important thing is not to force them to stand.
instead,
・Enhance play in a seated position
・Play to encourage fine motor skills
Gently sway your body to the music
Through these activities, you can help your baby develop a natural desire to move.
The important thing is to warmly accept your baby's individuality and respect the pace of their development.
Many shuffling babies, once they start walking, show athletic ability that is just like any other child.
3. My baby won't eat baby food... How to solve this problem for moms
A heart-warming approach for times like these: your child is not eating three meals a day or is only playing around with food
"I want to get him to eat three meals a day, but he won't eat anything..."
How hard should a banana be?
Let's think together about baby food for babies aged 10 and 11 months.
First of all, it's okay if you can't eat three meals a day .
Every baby has their own pace. If your baby is eating two meals a day, that's enough. Don't push yourself too hard, and proceed while watching your baby's condition.
Regarding "banana firmness," a ripe banana should be able to be crushed when lightly pressed with your fingers .
It's best if it's not a paste-like consistency, but still retains a little of its shape.
This hardness is perfect for practicing chewing with your gums .
At this time of year, iron levels can become a bit of a concern .
As the iron your baby receives from you decreases, try incorporating iron-rich foods into your diet whenever you feel like it.
Iron-rich foods:
・Liver, lean fish, hijiki seaweed
・Spinach, Komatsuna
Iron-rich baby food
Many moms are troubled by "play eating," but in fact, this is a time when babies learn various things .
They may crush, mix, or even throw food.
・Become dexterous
- Learn "If you do this, this will happen"
- Develop a variety of senses
This is an important learning time. It can be messy and difficult, but please keep an eye on them kindly.
4. Mom is exhausted when her baby suddenly starts crying at night...
A gentle way to get through times when it takes a long time to get your child to sleep or when they won't take a nap
"Until now, my baby has been sleeping until morning, but suddenly he started crying at night..."
This is called "sleep regression" and is a natural phenomenon that often occurs between the ages of 10 and 11 months .
Why sleep regression happens:
The brain is growing rapidly and organizing information.
Improved athletic ability and increased likelihood of becoming excited
Increased anxiety about being separated from mom
・Organizing daytime stimuli at night
The fact that it takes a long time to get your baby to sleep is also proof that he or she is growing.
At this stage, babies begin to develop feelings such as "I want to keep playing" and "I want to stay awake."
Effective countermeasures include:
1. Gently regulates daytime stimulation
Avoid excessive exercise and going to new places, and spend more time relaxing.
2. Create a routine for putting your baby to bed
Creating the same routine every day, such as bath → breastfeeding → picture book → dimming the lights, will give your baby a sense of security.
3. Minimal response at night
Give your baby a few minutes of crying time and let them practice falling back asleep on their own.
If you don't want to take a nap, it's best not to push yourself.
Taking a nap after 3pm will affect your sleep at night, so make sure to cherish this time as a quiet one even when you are awake .
5. How long should breastfeeding last? For moms who are unsure about when to wean their baby.
The difference between weaning and nighttime breastfeeding, and how to prepare and proceed step by step when stopping nighttime breastfeeding
"It's been 10 and 11 months since I gave birth, but I don't know when to stop breastfeeding..."
"I want to stop breastfeeding, what should I do?"
Breastfeeding concerns can be a huge burden for mothers.
Let's start by understanding the difference between weaning and weaning .
・Weaning : When a baby naturally stops wanting to breastfeed
・Weaning : Ending breastfeeding at the mother's convenience or discretion
If your baby is 10 or 11 months old, weaning food will be the main source of nutrition, so whichever you choose will not affect your baby's health.
"Stopping nighttime feedings" is very effective in reducing night crying.
Many moms experience positive changes within 4-7 days.
Step-by-step guide to stopping night feedings:
Preparation period (3 days)
-Ensure adequate number of breastfeeding sessions during the day
- Feed your baby plenty of baby food
・Create a system to get dads to cooperate
Execution period (3-7 days)
・During the night, only drink fluids (plain water and barley tea)
・Hold the baby and pat their back
・Watch over them patiently
The trick to "how to stop breastfeeding" is a gradual approach.
Instead of suddenly quitting,
Side-feeding → Holding the baby while breastfeeding → Bottle feeding → None
Let's slowly change it in that order.
The most important thing is for the mother to be mentally prepared .
If you are unsure, your baby will sense it.
6. What to do if your child eats with their hands and makes a mess
Tips for spoon practice and nurturing the desire to "eat by yourself"
"Once he started eating with his hands, the dining table became a mess..."
"Spilling, messing, throwing...I'm at my limit of frustration."
I understand very well how a mother feels.
But in fact, eating with your hands is the first step towards your baby becoming independent in eating .
The desire to "try things on their own" at 10 and 11 months of age is a valuable ability that forms the foundation for future independence and concentration.
Five important skills that eating with your hands develops
・Dexterity of fingers : Adjusting pinch strength
・Hand-eye coordination : Practice bringing the ball to the target
・Improvement of chewing ability : Experience chewing at your own pace
- Recognition of fullness : Feeling full
・Understanding ingredients : learning about hardness, temperature, and taste
The key to preventing spills and messes is to create the right environment.
Preparation list:
・Newspaper or picnic sheets on the floor
・Clothes that you don't mind getting dirty
・Sleeveless apron
・Wet wipes that can be wiped immediately
・Tableware that is safe even if dropped (wooden or plastic)
Step-by-step guide to spoon training
Stage 1: Showing interest
Give your child a baby spoon and let them touch it freely
Phase 2: Practice scooping
The baby learns the sensation of mommy holding his/her hand and scooping him/her up.
Stage 3: Practice bringing it to your mouth
Repeatedly practice the action of bringing the scooped food to your mouth
The key to success is not to strive for perfection .
At first, it is sufficient to feed 80% of the food by hand and 20% by spoon.
To encourage your child to want to eat by themselves, it is effective to give them generous praise when they do something well.
"That's amazing! You ate that all by yourself!"
This will help your baby develop confidence and motivation.
7. My child hasn't spoken yet, and I'm worried about his language development.
How to approach people warmly when there is no bye-bye or clapping or when there is little imitation
"He's 10 or 11 months old and still not talking..."
"Even when I teach him to say 'bye-bye' and 'clap clap', he never imitates me..."
Language development is a concern that many mothers have.
The first thing you should know is that there are greater individual differences in language development than you might imagine .
Language development guidelines for 10-11 month olds:
・Babbling : sounds like "mama" and "daddy"
Pointing : Point to something that interests you
・Imitation : actions such as saying goodbye and clapping
・Comprehension : Understand the meaning of simple words
Even if your child cannot do these things, in most cases it is okay to just wait and see until they are around 3 years old .
Criteria for deciding not to talk but not to worry too much:
-Turns around when you call its name
・They will give you things when you say "please"
- Shake your body in response to the music
・Make eye contact and smile
Reach out for things that interest you
Effective ways to avoid finger pointing
1. Adults actively pointing
"Oh, there's Woof Woof," he said, pointing.
2. Follow your baby's gaze
See what your baby sees and empathize with them
3. Enjoy playing hand games over and over again
Games that involve hand movements, such as "peek-a-boo"
Some mothers worry about their baby not making eye contact, but it is natural for babies at 10 and 11 months of age to go through periods when they become absorbed in something they are interested in and not look at adults' faces.
The magic that draws out words
・Live coverage : Communicate your baby's behavior in words
- Present a choice : "Apple or banana?"
Waiting time : Wait 3 seconds for the baby to respond
Repetition : Using the same words over and over again
The most important thing is to convey the joy of communication rather than words .
If your child enjoys interacting with you, the language will come naturally.
8. I want to keep my baby safe while he moves around.
How to protect your child from dangers in the home when they start to stand up and crawl
Once your baby starts to stand up, their range of movement will expand dramatically.
Places that were previously safe can become dangerous places.
Looking at the accident statistics for babies aged 10 and 11 months,
Falling accidents : from stairs, beds, sofas
・Accidental ingestion : small objects, medicine, cosmetics
・Pinching accidents : Doors, drawers, gaps in furniture
・Burn accidents : stoves, rice cookers, irons
These numbers are increasing rapidly, so be sure to take precautions.
Emergency safety measures when your baby starts to stand up
Height measures
-Soft corner guards for table corners
-Baby gates installed at the top and bottom of the stairs
・Fences to prevent falls from the bed
・Window fall prevention stopper
Prevention of accidental ingestion
- Put away all items with a diameter of 3.9cm or less.
・Move medicines and cosmetics to higher places
- Thorough management of batteries, buttons, and coins
・Be careful with pet food
Once your child starts crawling, it's time to prepare their first shoes .
Tips for choosing:
Size : 5-8mm of space at the toes
・Material : Breathable natural material
- Bottom : Non-slip and moderately thick
・Easy to put on : Velcro or lace type
Danger points that are often overlooked
1. Bathroom : Toothbrush, razor, detergent
2. Kitchen : knives, seasonings, trash can
3. Living room : Houseplants, ashtray, remote control
4. Bedroom : accessories, perfume, medicine
It is important to check safety measures from the baby's perspective.
Get down on the floor and explore your home from a baby's perspective .
Furthermore, the basis for preventing accidents is to "create an environment" rather than to say "no, no."
The best thing you can do is respect your baby's curiosity and create a safe environment where they can explore.
9. I am very shy around strangers and dads and I have trouble with that.
My baby is so obsessed with following me that he can't even go to the toilet... How to gently get him used to going to nursery school
"He cries just going to the toilet...he's so rude."
"My baby won't stop crying even when I hold him... He's scared of his dad and it's hard."
Between 10 and 11 months of age, separation anxiety reaches its peak .
In fact, this phenomenon is proof of growth as the baby begins to recognize his mother as a "special person."
Developmental reasons for separation anxiety:
・My memory improved and I remembered my mom's face well
・Understanding the concepts of "not there" and "there"
Deeply developed attachment relationships
Develops wariness of strangers
How to get through a period of "severe tailgating"
Short-time separation practice
1. When going to the toilet, gently say, "I'll be right back."
2. Say "Mommy's here" through the door
3. When you return, praise your child by saying, "I'm back, you were waiting for me."
Techniques to overcome dad shyness
・Make time for dad when mom is around
・Find a special way to play that's just for dad
Increase positive involvement from dads
・Mom shows off how much she loves her dad
A gentle way to prepare your child for nursery school
Preparations to start 2-3 months before enrollment:
Phase 1: Getting used to other people
Increase short-term interactions with grandparents, relatives, friends, etc.
Stage 2: Eating from someone other than your mother
Gain experience of receiving baby food from daddy or grandma
Stage 3: Adjusting your daily routine
Adjusting daily rhythms to match the nursery school schedule
Phase 4: Short-term childcare practice
Gradually extend from 1 hour to 2 hours to half a day
The important thing is that moms don't feel too guilty .
Feelings such as "I feel sorry for him" and "I'm sorry for making him feel lonely" are conveyed to the baby and only increase his anxiety.
Instead, send them off with a positive attitude, saying, "I'm glad you got to experience a new world."
Separation anxiety will subside naturally by the time your child is about 18 months old.
It may be difficult right now, but please watch over them warmly as this is proof that a strong attachment has been built.
10. Mommy is exhausted...Are you trying too hard on your own?
How to take care of your mind and rest when you are suffering from lack of sleep and stress
"I'm exhausted... but taking care of a baby won't wait."
"I can't seem to enjoy anything these days... is this postpartum depression?"
Let's gently address the deep mental and physical fatigue that mothers experience 10 and 11 months after giving birth.
In fact, postpartum depression peaks between six months and one year after giving birth .
It is not just "immediately after giving birth" that you need to be careful, but this is the period in particular.
Postpartum Depression Self-Checklist
If any of the following symptoms persist for more than two weeks, consult a doctor:
I don't feel any fun no matter what I do
I'm always tired and unmotivated
Lack of appetite or tendency to overeat
- Can't sleep or feel sleepy all day
・I keep blaming myself
・I can't maintain my concentration
・Sometimes I don't think babies are cute
Stressors specific to those 10 and 11 months postpartum
Accumulation of sleep deprivation : 10 months of chronic sleep deprivation
・Anxiety about returning to society : Fear of balancing work and family life
・Comparing with other children : Anxiety about differences in development
・The loneliness of single parenting : No one to talk to
・Complete loss of personal time : A sense of losing one's sense of self
Gentle mental care methods
How to lift your mood
・Get 15 minutes of morning sun exposure (a balcony is fine)
- Practice deep breathing for 5 minutes, 3 times a day
・Light exercise while listening to your favorite music
・Eat foods that lift your mood (bananas, natto, cheese)
How to increase your love hormones
・Make a conscious effort to spend time with your baby
・Interaction with pets (if any)
- Make time to talk with people you can trust
・Experience inspiring movies and books
Specific measures to escape single-parent parenting
1. Utilizing local support
Childcare support center, temporary childcare, housekeeping services
2. Join online communities
Exchange information and share concerns with other mothers of babies of the same age
3. How to get along with family members
How to make specific requests and express gratitude
4. Let go of perfectionism
Setting housework and childcare standards of "60 points is enough"
Emergency SOS contact information
・Obstetrics and gynecology department (hospital where you gave birth)
・Psychiatry and Psychosomatic Medicine
・Local health centers
・Postnatal care facilities
- Childcare consultation desks in each local government
The most important thing is to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect mom .
Rest when you're tired, ask for help when you're in pain.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, but an important step to protect both the baby and the mother .
11. Preparation guide for moms thinking about returning to work
Anxiety and guilt about enrolling your child in nursery school... How to prepare and support working mothers
"I'll be returning to work next spring... but what if my child starts crying at daycare?"
"How do I stop breastfeeding? I feel so guilty..."
Ten or eleven months after giving birth is the time when many mothers start thinking about returning to work.
It's very natural to feel anxious and guilty.
A three-month preparation schedule for a successful return to work
3 months ago: Building the foundation
・Confirm the nursery school's schedule for adjusting
・Sick child care・Famisapo registration
・Discussion on household chores and rules
- Creating an emergency contact list
2 months ago: Adjusting daily routine
・Transition to wake-up and bedtimes that are in line with daycare
- Adjust nap times (according to the nursery school schedule)
・Fixing baby food times
・Establish a morning preparation routine
1 month before: Adjust breastfeeding schedule
Gradually reduce the number of feedings during the day
- Practice hydration using a baby bottle or straw mug
・Preparing to pump and freeze breast milk (if continuing)
- Transition to nighttime feedings only
A gentle approach to reducing separation anxiety
1. Progressive separation practice
・Extend the time in the following order: 30 minutes → 1 hour → 3 hours → half a day
・Always say "I'm leaving" or "I'm home"
・ Always be on time to pick up your child
- Expressing great joy when reunited
2. Use safety products
・Towels and handkerchiefs that smell like mom
・Favorite stuffed animal
Family photos
3. Collaboration with childcare workers
・Tell us in detail about your baby's favorite activities and foods
・Share your daily routine and habits at home
・If you have any tips on how to stop the baby from crying, please let me know.
A mindset that reduces mommy guilt
Many mothers feel that it is a shame to leave their baby in someone else's care.
But actually, daycare has some benefits that you can't get at home:
・Social development : Interactions with children of the same age
- Diversity of stimuli : new games, songs, and activities
・Establishing a regular routine : a regular rhythm
・Promoting independence : Relationships with adults other than the mother
Preparation for returning to work
The first week or two is a difficult time for both the baby and the mother.
Accept that now is the time to get used to it :
Don't strive for perfection
・Leaving work early due to poor health is expected
Don't forget to show gratitude to your colleagues and superiors
・Say "thank you for your hard work" to yourself too
Being a working mom is also a great way to educate your baby, showing them what a hard-working mom looks like .
Embrace this new stage with pride, not guilt.
12. There are many things I want to discuss at the 10-month checkup
Concerns about development and questions to ask experts...Points to know as your child turns one
What should I ask about at the 10-month checkup?
"I'm concerned about my child's development, but when is the best time to consult a specialist?"
The 10th and 11th months of life are important milestone periods leading up to your baby's first birthday.
It is important to work with a specialist at the right time.
Five things you should definitely check at your 10-month checkup
1. Motor development , whether or not the child can stand up by holding on to something, stability, crawling, crawling, sense of balance, and muscle strength development
2. Cognitive and social development , shyness, degree of following, and imitation behavior (bye-bye, clapping)
・Interest in objects and exploratory behavior
3. Language development , type and frequency of babbling, presence or absence of pointing, and comprehension of simple words
4. Diet, nutritional status , progress with weaning, finger-feeding status, and weight gain
5. Sleep, daily rhythm , quality of nighttime sleep, nap patterns, frequency of nighttime crying
"Worrying signs" that require expert consultation
If you experience more than one of the following symptoms and they last for more than a month:
Early consultation is required . Refusal to make eye contact. Not smiling. Not turning around even when called by name. Significant weight loss or no weight gain. Extremely picky eating habits. Refusal to drink fluids.
Consult while observing the situation . Sitting is unstable (at 10 months old)
・No babbling at all ・Little interest in things ・Extremely easy to cry ・Crying won't stop
Determining the need for developmental support
Developmental support is not "treatment" but "helping to grow."
The benefits of starting early are significant, and should be actively considered if:
・Noticeable developmental delay (delay of 3 months or more)
・Concerns in multiple developmental areas ・Significant difficulties in daily life ・Family members are very anxious
Growth outlook for 1 year old
Physical activity : Standing up with support → Walking with support → Walking alone, Going up and down stairs (handrails available)
・Playing with balls ・Playing with building blocks
Language: 1-3 meaningful words; understanding simple instructions ("please give me" and "please")
・Pointing to express a request
Social skills , simple interactions with adults, laughing at peek-a-boo, and stabilizing attachment relationships
Preparing for effective expert consultations
Information you should have ready before your consultation:
・Maternal and Child Health Handbook (record of development to date)
・Video of behavior of concern ・Weekly life record ・Family developmental history ・Specific question list
What's important is the spirit of "early detection and early support."
By discussing concerns while your baby is still young, both you and your baby can grow up feeling more secure.
Your love is your baby's best nutrition
For babies aged 10 and 11 months and mothers aged 10 and 11 months postpartum.
My baby won't stand up, he won't gain weight, he suddenly starts crying at night...
All of these worries were part of the baby's development.
There is no such thing as perfect parenting.
The very feeling you have for your baby,
It's the most important love for a baby .
This guide will ease mom's worries and
We hope to help you spend more happy days with your baby.
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