A guide for newborns (0-1 month) and their mothers

Names, procedures, breastfeeding, and growth

1. Birth registration: How to prepare without rushing

Tips for submitting within 14 days, submitting on weekends, and even completing procedures at your hometown

"Within 14 days, maybe there isn't much time left..."
In the midst of the hectic daily life after giving birth, many mothers worry about submitting a birth certificate.

First of all, please rest assured that it is okay even if the 14 days have passed .
While it is true that there is a legal possibility of a fine, there are very few cases where penalties are actually imposed.

If there are reasons such as "I was worried about the baby's health" or "Mom wasn't feeling well,"
The government officials will also understand.
First of all, make your health your top priority.

[Birth notification preparation list]

✅ What to bring : Birth notification form (with birth certificate provided by the hospital)
・Mother and Child Health Handbook ・Seal (Shachihata stamps cannot be used)
・Identification card (driver's license, etc.)

✅ If you want to submit on weekends or holidays , you can submit your application at the city hall's night or holiday counter. A security guard will receive your documents. Even if there are any issues with your documents, you can rest assured that you will be contacted at a later date.

✅ If you are giving birth at your hometown , you can complete the procedure at the local government office in your hometown. It doesn't matter if it's somewhere other than your registered domicile. You can also submit it by mail (if you're worried, we recommend bringing it in person).

What if you haven't decided on a name yet?

You can decide on the name on the day you submit the birth registration.
However, you want to avoid making hasty decisions at the government office.

We recommend narrowing down your options to two or three and then making a final decision after seeing your baby's face .

"This name really suits him."
I hope you can enjoy this wonderful moment in peace.

2. Things you need to know to receive the Lump-Sum Childbirth and Childcare Grant with peace of mind

About the direct payment system, when there is a difference, and the proxy payment system

"Will I be able to receive the Lump-Sum Childbirth and Childcare Allowance?"
This is an important system that helps ease worries about childbirth expenses.

However, the system is a bit complicated, and many mothers are concerned about how much money they will end up with.

Actually, there is a good way to receive this lump sum.

[Direct payment system and proxy payment system]

✅ Direct payment system (used by many hospitals)
・The health insurance association will pay the hospital directly. ・If the cost of childbirth is less than the lump sum payment, you will receive the difference. ・Any amount exceeding the lump sum payment will be paid by you. ・Payment upon discharge is simple.

✅ Receipt agent system (small clinics, etc.)
・Application is required in advance ・The basic system is the same as the direct payment system ・Some medical institutions do not support this system

Important information about "difference claim"

One thing you should not forget here is the "difference claim."

For example, if the cost of childbirth is 450,000 yen, you can receive the difference of 50,000 yen .
However, surprisingly, there are many people who forget to apply for this.

[How to claim the difference]

✅ Required documents and birth cost details (available at the hospital)
・Health insurance card ・Bank account information ・Seal

✅ Application deadline : Within two years of the date of birth. We recommend applying early.

✅ Where to apply : ・For company employees: Health insurance association at your workplace ・For self-employed people: Your city, ward, town or village office

Please keep the detailed statement of delivery costs that you will receive from the hospital when you are discharged.
This is the important document you need to apply for the difference.

This is a great system, so I hope you will make full use of it and give birth with peace of mind.

3. When you are worried about your baby's weight gain

How to monitor and deal with daily increases, small increases, and decreases

"My baby seems heavier than yesterday, is this normal?"
"I get worried if I don't gain 30g a day..."

Many mothers worry about their newborn's weight.

First of all, please rest assured. The 30g increase per day is just a guideline, and is not a number that you must strictly adhere to.

[Changes in newborn weight]

Natural Weight Changes : 3-5 days after birth: Your baby will lose some weight temporarily (this is normal).
A 3-10% loss in birth weight is normal. Gain begins around one week after birth. Average weight gain is 25-30g per day.

✅ If your baby is gaining weight between 20-25g per day , there is no problem. Your baby is in a good mood, urinating and defecating regularly, and sleeping well. If you can confirm these things, there is no need to worry.

✅ If your baby is gaining 15-20g per day , be careful and monitor the situation. Try increasing the number and duration of feedings. If your baby is breastfed, consider adding formula. If your baby is not improving after a week, consult a doctor.

⚠️ If your baby is not gaining weight, is losing weight , has not gained weight for more than a week, is losing weight, is in a bad mood, or is listless → consult a pediatrician as soon as possible

[Tips for good weight measurement]

✅ Keep the measurement conditions the same and at the same time every day (pre-feeding is recommended)
・After changing diapers ・In the same clothes (or naked)
Use the same scale

✅ Don't be swayed by daily fluctuations . Don't worry about one day's numbers. Use the average for one week. It's normal for there to be a 50-100g difference depending on whether or not there is poop.

"I was so focused on the number on the scale that I didn't have time to look at my baby's face properly..."

I often hear this from moms.

What's important is not the numbers, but the baby's "overall condition."

There are times when he is awake and in a good mood, he sleeps soundly after feedings, and he is urinating and pooping regularly.

If these things can be confirmed, there is no problem even if the weight gain is 20g/day.

"A baby's growth is a reflection of their individuality"
The most important thing is to cherish this feeling and watch over them warmly and without rushing.

4. Are the number of times and intervals between breastfeeding okay?

Frequent breastfeeding, not waking up in the middle of the night, and how to tell if your baby is getting enough

"I breastfeed my baby 15 times a day, but he still cries..."
"Breastfeeding every hour is exhausting for me..."

For moms who are tired from frequent breastfeeding.

Did you know that there is actually a very important reason for frequent breastfeeding during the newborn period?

[About breastfeeding newborns]

Why do I need to breastfeed so often?
・A newborn baby's stomach: about the size of a cherry ・Amount they can drink at one time: about 10-15ml ・Digestion time of breast milk: 1-2 hours ・So they need to drink small amounts frequently

✅ Recommended breastfeeding frequency : Newborn: 8-15 times a day; First week after birth: Very frequent (20 or more times a day is normal)
・Feed every hour: This is completely normal and is actually important for improving breast milk production.

How to tell if you have enough breast milk

Before you start worrying that you might not have enough breast milk, check to see how your baby is doing.

✅ Signs that your baby is getting enough breast milk : urinating more than 6 times a day; pooping more than 3-4 times a day; calming down for a while after feeding; weight gain, even if only a little; firm skin

⚠️ Symptoms of insufficient breast milk : urinating less than five times a day; not pooping for more than three days; crying continuously even after breastfeeding; not gaining weight for more than a week; wrinkled skin

[About worries when you can't wake up in the middle of the night]

"I don't wake up in the middle of the night... is this okay?"
Many mothers worry about the problem of their child waking up in the middle of the night.

✅ If your baby is okay without waking up in the middle of the night , is breastfeeding well during the day, is gaining weight steadily, is urinating and pooping normally, and is over 2 weeks old

⚠️ When it is better to wake your baby up in the middle of the night , within the first week of life, not gaining enough weight, or not breastfeeding often enough during the day (less than six times)
・Weak and unresponsive

Tips to make frequent breastfeeding easier

✅ Ways to reduce the burden on mothers : Use a nursing pillow to create a comfortable position; Use side-holding, upright-holding, and football-style holds; Master breastfeeding (makes nighttime nursing easier)
Don't be too concerned about the intervals between feedings

✅ Support that dads can provide: Burp and change diapers. Help mom stay hydrated. Put the baby to sleep after nighttime feedings. Say "thank you for your hard work."

In fact, frequent breastfeeding not only provides nutrition for the baby, but also stimulates the mother's milk production .

If you're worried about whether it's okay to breastfeed so frequently, try thinking that your baby is working hard to nourish your breast.

The effort you put in during this time will make your breastfeeding life easier in the future.

5. Babies' sleep time, babies who sleep well and babies who don't sleep much

Worried about not waking up in the middle of the night? Day and night are reversed? Signs to look out for

"My child never sleeps...18 hours is ridiculous!"
"On the contrary, I'm worried that he's sleeping too much... should I wake him up?"

For moms who feel pressured by the "ideal amount of sleep" written in parenting books.

In fact, there is a lot of individual variation in the amount of sleep a newborn baby needs.

[About newborn baby sleep]

✅ Sleep duration range : Average: 15-20 hours; Actual range: 12-22 hours; If you feel fine after 12-14 hours, no need to worry; If you respond after 20 hours or more, it's normal

Why are there such large individual differences?
・Activity patterns in the mother's womb have an impact ・Baby who moves around a lot in the womb → active even after birth ・Baby who is quiet in the womb → sleeps well even after birth ・Differences in innate personality

[Checkpoints more important than sleep time]

What's important is not the length of time you sleep, but whether you are sleeping soundly.

✅ Signs of sound sleep: Baby is in a good mood when awake, sleeps soundly after feeding, moves arms and legs moderately, cries with energy, and is urinating and pooping regularly

⚠️ Signs of worrying sleep : ・Little and unresponsive throughout the day ・Not waking up even when woken ・Weak crying ・Refusal to breastfeed ・Abnormal body temperature (high or low temperature)

[How to deal with reversed day and night]

"He only sleeps during the day and is fine at night... when will he get better?"

The reversal of day and night cycles in newborn babies is actually a very natural phenomenon.

Reasons for day-night reversal:・The baby had no idea about day and night in the womb ・The sleep hormone is still low ・The baby's daily rhythm is still underdeveloped ・This often continues until around 3-4 months of age

✅ Tips for creating a natural rhythm of life : Open the curtains and let in the light in the morning; Let in normal sounds during the day; Dim the lights at night; Don't force your child to wake up; wait for their natural rhythm

[About worries when you can't wake up in the middle of the night]

"I'm worried because you didn't wake up in the middle of the night... Are you okay?"

This is something that many moms worry about.

✅ If your baby is okay without waking up in the middle of the night , is over 2 weeks old, is nursing well during the day, is gaining weight steadily, is urinating and pooping normally, and is able to nurse normally when woken up

⚠️ When it is better to wake your baby : ・Within one week of age ・Insufficient weight gain ・Feeding intervals of more than 5-6 hours ・Lack of reaction when woken

[Tips for creating a good sleep environment]

✅ Safe and comfortable sleeping environment : Room temperature: 20-25°C, Humidity: 50-60%
・Sleep on your back as a rule ・No pillows or stuffed toys ・Moderate darkness (it doesn't have to be completely dark)

✅ Tips for moms to rest together : ・Make sure to sleep with your baby when he sleeps ・Keep housework to a minimum ・Take naps without feeling guilty ・Believe that "children who sleep well grow well"

Please respect your child's own pace and watch over them with kindness.

Sleep is an important time that is essential for growth.
Respecting your baby's unique rhythm will lead to healthy development.

6. Preparation for the 1-month checkup

Weight, development, and what the pediatrician will look at

"I wonder what the teacher will ask me..."
What if they tell me I'm not heavy enough?

The first one-month checkup is a very exciting event for mothers.

But the truth is, what pediatricians want to know most is whether the mother and baby are doing well.

[Preparation list for one-month checkup]

✅ What to bring: Maternal and Child Health Handbook, Health Insurance Card, Infant Medical Card, Diapers, Extra clothes
・Breastfeeding supplies (if using milk)
・Question notes (prepared in advance)

✅ Prepare your baby : Finish breastfeeding one hour before the checkup, change diapers immediately before the checkup, wear clothes that are easy to remove, and do not put socks on (for weight measurement)

Frequently asked questions and answers at health checkups

Q1: "Is breastfeeding going well?"

Example of how to answer:
"I breastfeed my baby ○ times a day. He is breastfed (formula), and after feeding he calms down and falls asleep for about ○ minutes. He urinates ○ times a day and poops ○ times a day."

Q2: "How well do you sleep at night?"

Example of how to answer:
"I wake up every x hours to breastfeed. My baby sleeps about x hours a day. I try to take naps with my baby."

Q3: "Are you concerned about your baby's condition?"

The best answer is honestly:
"I'm worried about ○○" "What should I do if ○○ happens?"
Don't feel like you have to be perfect, just ask for advice.

What to do when you're told you're underweight

"I'd like to gain a little more weight."
If that happens to you, don't panic.

✅ Pediatricians' comprehensive assessment criteria : Weight gain trends (no need to worry if your baby is gaining weight)
- Urination and stool status - Baby's mood and reactions - Breastfeeding status - Mom's level of concern

✅ Suggestions for when weight gain is low : Increase breastfeeding frequency slightly; Consider adding formula; Check again in 2 weeks; Advice to ease mom's anxiety

[Points seen in developmental checks]

✅ Normal development for a 1-month-old baby : He may not be able to follow objects with his eyes yet (tracking), he responds to sounds, he moves his arms and legs appropriately, and he is not yet able to hold his head up (around 3-4 months old).
・It's okay if you can't see the smile yet

✅ What the teacher values ​​are : overall growth, mothers' feelings about child-rearing, the family's support system, and the mothers' physical and mental health.

List of questions you should ask

This is a great opportunity, so please feel free to ask any questions.

Breastfeeding-related: "Is this the appropriate interval between feedings?"
"I'm worried about whether I'm getting enough breast milk."
How long will night feedings last?

✅ Growth and Development Related: "Where are you on the growth curve?"
Is there anything I need to be careful about in terms of development?
What should I be careful of before my next checkup?

✅ Daily care related: "What should I be careful of when it comes to skin care?"
"Please tell me the room temperature and recommended clothing."
I want to check the vaccination schedule.

Pediatricians are reliable allies who will understand a mother's concerns and work with her to find a solution.

"So it's okay to talk about that sort of thing too?"
You will surely be enveloped in a sense of security.

7. When is the best time for a shrine visit? A reasonable plan

Deciding based on your physical condition, how to handle rainy days, and a modern style of worship

"When should I go to the shrine visit?"
"I'm worried about the baby's health and would like to postpone..."

Mothers are torn between wanting to honor tradition and worrying about their baby's health.

Did you know that there are actually some differences between Kanto and Kansai?

[Differences in shrine visit times between Kanto and Kansai]

✅ In the Kanto region : Boys: 31 days old; Girls: 32 days old. The thinking: "Girls are stronger, so we should give birth a little earlier."

✅ In the Kansai region : Boys: 32 days after birth; Girls: 33 days after birth. The thinking: "We'll raise the girl with more care, so we'll give birth a little later."

✅ Modern thinking・The health of the baby and mother is the most important・Adjust the time between 1 and 2 months after birth ・Choose a day when the whole family can visit with a smile

[Criteria for postponing due to poor health]

Babies around one month old are not yet used to going outside.
Temperature changes and crowds can be a big burden.

⚠️ Cases where postponing is better : Baby has a cold, Mom is not feeling well, Bad weather (strong wind, rain, extreme heat, severe cold)
・Family schedules don't match ・Your baby is in a bad mood for several days

✅ Conditions suitable for worship : Baby is in a good mood, the weather is calm, and the temperature is moderate (around 15-25°C).
・Mom is in good health ・The whole family can participate

[Measures to take on rainy days and bad weather]

✅ Decisions regarding postponement on rainy days : Light rain: You can visit if you are traveling by car; Heavy rain: Don't push yourself and postpone; Typhoon/storm: Definitely postpone. God also wishes for the safety of your family.

✅ Seasonal precautions・Spring (March to May): Take precautions against hay fever and be careful of temperature differences ・Summer (June to August): Take precautions against heatstroke and be careful not to use air conditioning that is too strong ・Autumn (September to November): The best season to visit ・Winter (December to February): Take precautions against the cold and be careful of infectious diseases

[How to create a modern shrine visit plan]

✅ Health-first schedule : 10:00-11:00: Aim for the cooler morning hours; Minimize travel time: Nearby shrines by car; Visit time: Short, about 15-30 minutes; Photography: Can be done on another day; Dinner party: Postpone or simplify

✅ Baby comfort plan , calculate feeding times, check diaper changing space, travel with a baby carrier, bring extra clothes, and prepare to return home halfway through

[Key points about clothing and preparation]

✅ Baby clothes : White habutae underwear + ceremonial dress (rental is fine) - choose clothes that are easy to put on and take off, and protect against the cold and heat depending on the season

✅ Choose clothes that take into consideration the mother's clothing , post-pregnancy body shape, designs that are easy to breastfeed in, shoes that are easy to walk in, and a formal look.

✅ Essential items checklist: diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes (2-3 sets)
・Nursing supplies, blankets, and offerings (approximately 5,000 to 10,000 yen)
・Cameras and smartphones

Don't feel like you have to force yourself to go. Instead, choose a day when your baby is in a good mood, the weather is nice, and the whole family can visit with smiles on their faces.

I'm sure God would be pleased with such a warm family sentiment.

8. What to do when you can't decide on a name

The best time to decide, tips to avoid regrets, and modern naming tips

"I wonder if this name will make this child happy..."
"Should I focus on the number of strokes, or should I focus on the sound?"

The deeper your love for your child, the more difficult it becomes to choose a name.

There is a long-standing debate between those who prioritize the number of strokes and those who prioritize the sound. In fact, both are important.

[Reasons for feeling anxious about choosing a name and how to solve it]

✅ Common patterns of impatience : The pressure to decide within 14 days; Differing opinions among family members; Worrying about the number of strokes in the name and not being able to narrow down the options; The weight of the responsibility of choosing a name for life; The name chosen before the birth doesn't suit the baby's face

✅ How to overcome impatience・You can still make a decision on the day of birth registration ・Think of it as time to find a name that suits your child ・There is no perfect name, a name filled with love is best ・Take time to discuss things as a family ・Make sure the parents have the final say

[Modern thinking on number of strokes and sound]

✅ The importance of number of strokes in a name : Choosing the right number of strokes in a name fortune-telling session. "I want to support my child with the power of letters."
・Traditional naming methods ・A sense of security based on a long history

✅ The idea behind those who prioritize sound : "It's a name you call every day, so it should have a beautiful sound."
・Modern and stylish sounding ・Internationally conscious name ・Easy to remember and familiar

✅ Modern recommended thinking : The number of strokes and the sound are important, but the top priority is "family love"
・Easy to read and write ・A name that your child can be proud of ・Timeless and universal

[Points to consider when naming modern names]

✅ Practicality check : Easy to explain over the phone; Easy to read even for people who don't know kanji; Easy to fill out documents; Can be converted by computer input; Easy to give nicknames

✅ Future prospects check , suitable for all ages from infancy to old age, suitable for any occupation, and suitable for use overseas (internationalization)
・Not influenced by trends

✅ Social skills check , not a cause of bullying, accepted by older people, not too many friends of the same sex, not mistaken for gender

[Rules to avoid naming regrets]

✅ Avoid regret patterns : A name that is too trendy; A name that is too complicated to read; Focusing too much on the number of strokes and neglecting the sound; Pushing your parents' hobbies too much; Being too influenced by other people's opinions

✅ A highly satisfying naming method・Mother and father will truly love it ・You can explain the origin of the name ・You can proudly tell your child about it ・It is filled with the family's feelings ・You feel that it is "perfect for this child"

[Step-by-step guide to the naming process]

Step 1: Finding candidates (during pregnancy and before birth)
・Prepare 3-5 candidates for each gender ・Consider the number of strokes, sound, and meaning in a balanced way ・Talk with your family to narrow down the candidates

Step 2: Final decision (after birth to one week after birth)
・Look at the baby's face to narrow down the options ・Actually call the baby out loud ・Cherish the unique characteristics of this baby

Step 3: Be certain (before submitting birth registration)
・Make sure all family members are happy with the name ・Make sure there are no worries about the future ・Make sure you understand that the name is one that is filled with love

[FAQ on naming issues]

Q: I was told that the number of strokes was bad...
A: Fortune telling based on names is one point of reference. The most important thing is the love of the parents. A name given with love, regardless of the number of strokes, is more valuable to a child than a name with a good number of strokes but given without love.

Q: My relatives are opposed to my plan.
A: The final decision rests with the parents. Listen to the opinions of your relatives only for reference, and make your decision with the mindset that "we are the ones who are most responsible for this child's life."

Q: I'm worried that my name might be considered flashy.
A: As long as the name is easy to read and explain, it's fine. There's a difference between "unique" and "quirky." Choose a name that you can be proud of for your child, within reason.

The important thing is that mom and dad can truly feel that this name is the best.

Because that confidence will foster pride in your child's name.

A name that your child will cherish for the rest of their life. Find a wonderful name that will bring a smile to the faces of the whole family.

9. Tips for changing diapers and ways to prevent poop leaks

How many times a day, concerns about constipation, and how to change diapers properly

"I just changed it again...how many times a day do you change it?"
"I haven't had a poop in three days, is that okay?"
"My clothes got dirty again..."

Many mothers are probably surprised by the frequency of diaper changes and leaks.

Changing your baby's diaper 15 to 20 times a day during the newborn period is actually an important sign of your baby's health.

[Number of diaper changes for newborns]

✅ Why is this so frequent?
・Newborn's bladder: small, about the size of a ping-pong ball ・Kidneys are immature, so they frequently excrete thin urine ・Intestinal movements are active ・Pooping occurs reflexively after each feeding

✅ Normal diaper frequency guidelines : Urinating: 10-15 times a day; Pooping: 3-8 times a day; Total number of diaper changes: 15-20 times; It is normal for your baby to poop every time they are fed.

Constipation Concerns: "How long will it be okay?"

"I haven't had a bowel movement for two days... am I constipated?"

Many mothers worry about constipation in their newborns.

✅ If you are breastfeeding : ・It is normal to not have a bowel movement for 3-5 days. ・Breast milk is easily digested and absorbed, so only a small amount remains in the stool. ・There is no need to worry if your baby is in a good mood. ・It is okay as long as your stomach is not bloated.

✅ If you are formula-feeding: If your baby doesn't poop for 2-3 days, it could be constipation. Formula takes longer to digest than breast milk. Stool tends to harden. Drinking plenty of fluids often improves this condition.

⚠️ Signs of constipation that require medical attention : ・A bloated stomach ・A bad mood and constant crying ・Refusal to breastfeed ・Vomiting ・No bowel movements for over a week

[Tips to prevent poop leakage]

"It's leaking down my back again..."
Leaky poop is a constant worry for newborn mothers.

✅ Leak prevention basics : Do not fold the gathers of the diaper inward. Fit tightly around the base of the thighs. Leave one finger's width of room at the waist. Pull up to cover the belly button. Apply the tape in a "V" shape.

Tips for choosing the right size:・Pay attention to the thigh circumference rather than weight. ・If the gathers are digging in, go up a size. ・On the other hand, too much space is not good. ・Sizes vary depending on the manufacturer.

✅ Time-specific measures : Nighttime: One size larger for longer use; Daytime: Use the right size and change frequently; Before going out: Always change into a new diaper; Before breastfeeding: Time your baby to poop

[How to change diapers efficiently]

✅ Get ready: lay out new diapers, have wipes ready, have plastic bags for soiled clothes, and keep a change of clothes within easy reach.

Tips for changing : Wipe roughly with the front of the soiled diaper; Place a new diaper on the new one before removing the old one; Be careful that boys urinate as soon as you remove the diaper; Wipe from front to back for girls; Apply cream thinly and evenly

✅ Tips for each location : Living room: Place a special mat. Bedroom: Get used to operating it in the dark. When out and about: Check for a diaper changing space in advance. In the car: Take measures to prevent the seats from getting dirty.

How to prevent diaper rash

✅ Basics for preventing rashes : Wipe gently with baby wipes (don't rub)
・Let the baby dry completely before putting on a diaper ・Apply a thin layer of protective cream ・Change the diaper immediately if the baby gets wet

✅ If a rash occurs : Wash with lukewarm water instead of using baby wipes; pat dry; apply a thick layer of protective cream; consult a pediatrician if the rash is severe

[How to choose diapers]

✅ How to choose a product that prioritizes cost-effectiveness : ・Try small packs for newborns ・Find a brand that suits your baby's body shape ・When buying in bulk, include a size larger ・Use separate products for nighttime and daytime use

✅ Functionality-focused points : high absorbency, soft to the touch, elastic gathers, adhesive tape, and a good balance with price.

There's no need to worry about whether it's okay to change so much.

Keeping your baby in clean diapers will protect their sensitive skin and help them sleep better.

Frequent diaper changes are a sign of love.

10. Caring for the mother's mind and body one month after giving birth

Tears are likely to come out, maternity blues, and cooperation with dad

"I can't stop crying... am I crazy?"
"Babies are cute, but for some reason I feel depressed..."

For mothers who are confused by the emotional changes caused by postpartum hormonal changes.

"Maternity blues," which occurs around 3 to 10 days after giving birth, is a natural phenomenon experienced by approximately 80% of mothers.

[The difference between maternity blues and postpartum depression]

✅ Maternity blues (postpartum blues)
・When it appears: 3-10 days after giving birth ・Duration: Within 2 weeks ・Symptoms: Tearfulness, anxiety, irritability ・Severity: Able to carry out daily life ・Causes: Hormonal changes, environmental changes ・How to deal with it: Naturally improves with rest and understanding

Postpartum depression : Onset: 2 weeks to 1 year after birth; Duration: 2 weeks or more; Symptoms: Deep despair, lack of interest in childcare; Severity: Interference with daily life; Causes: Multiple factors; Treatment: Requires specialized treatment

[Postpartum Depression Self-Checklist]

If any of the following symptoms persist for more than two weeks, consult a doctor:

□ Emotional check:・Continued feelings of sadness or despair ・Tears for no apparent reason ・Irritability or anger ・Strong feelings of anxiety or worry ・Extreme mood swings

□ Behavioral check : Not feeling affection for the baby; Childcare is a burden; Can't do housework; Don't want to meet people; Can't enjoy things that used to be fun

□ Physical check : No appetite (or eating too much)
・Can't sleep (or sleep too much)
・Strong fatigue ・Headaches and body aches ・Difficulty concentrating

□ Checking your way of thinking : Blaming yourself, thinking you're a "bad mother," being unable to make decisions, poor memory, and no hope for the future

[Physiological and mental changes due to hormonal changes]

Why does this change occur?

✅ Major hormonal changes after childbirth : Estrogen (female hormone): Rapid decrease; Progesterone: Decreases to pre-pregnancy levels; Prolactin: Rapid increase due to breast milk production; Oxytocin: Secretion of the love hormone

✅ Effects on the mind and body : Increased emotional swings, increased tearfulness, increased anxiety, increased fatigue, decreased concentration

[How dads can support each other]

A dad's support is a great source of emotional support for a mom.

✅ Tips for speaking : "Are you okay?" → "Thank you for your hard work today"
・"Can I help you?" → "I'll do ○○ for you"
・"Don't cry" → "Tell me your story"
・"Stay strong" → "Let's get through this together"

✅ Specific support : ・Putting the baby to sleep after nighttime feedings ・Actively changing diapers and burping ・Preparing meals for mom ・Taking the initiative in doing housework ・Making time for mom to rest

✅ What to avoid: Underestimating the situation by saying, "Everyone goes through this"; Pressuring the mother by saying, "You're a mother after all"; Forcing solutions on the mother; Denying the mother's feelings; Competing by saying, "I'm tired too"

[Tips for overcoming maternity blues]

✅ What moms can do themselves : Don't expect perfection too much. Praise yourself for doing your best today. Take a nap with your baby. Relax with your favorite music or scent. Talk to someone you trust about how you feel.

✅ What the family can do : Recognize mom's hard work, allow her to cut corners on housework, create opportunities to go out, prepare delicious meals, and let her know she's not alone.

✅ How long will it last? Recovery guidelines : Maternity blues: Improves within two weeks after giving birth; Hormonal balance: Stabilizes around three months after giving birth; Sleep rhythm: Improves around six months after giving birth; Mental stability: Varies from person to person, and may take up to a year.

[When to get professional support]

⚠️ Early consultation is important when : ・You feel depressed for more than two weeks ・You don't feel any love for your baby ・You feel like abandoning your child ・You feel like hurting yourself or your baby ・You can't live your daily life

✅ Consultations: Obstetrician/Gynecologist, Pediatrician, Public Health Nurse (Municipal Newborn Visitor)
・Psychiatry, Psychosomatic Medicine, Postpartum Care Center

What moms are looking for isn't a solution, but rather recognition for their efforts.

The thought that "I'm not alone" is the greatest support.

No one is a perfect mom, and just being able to spend one day with your baby is enough of a feat.

11. Tips for making the most of newborn visits

Questions to ask your midwife, childcare advice, and things you don't hesitate to ask

"Will the midwife come? I don't know what to ask..."
"I want to decline because my house is not tidy..."

Surprisingly, many mothers are unaware of the newborn visiting system.

In fact, this is a free service provided by local governments, and is a system that can be used by any household with a baby up to four months old.

[Basic knowledge of the newborn visit system]

✅ Overview of the program and official name: "Home Visit Program for Infants"
・Target: Babies up to 4 months old and their mothers ・Cost: Completely free (funded by tax money)
・Visitors: Midwife, public health nurse, nurse ・Time required: Approximately 30 minutes to 1 hour

✅ Purpose of the visit : Checking the baby's growth and development status, checking the mother's physical and mental health, providing advice on childcare concerns, providing information on local childcare support, and early detection of postpartum depression

[Resolving the question, "Is it okay to refuse?"]

"I'm embarrassed because my house is messy..."
"I don't want you to come because I'm not feeling well."

✅ You can refuse . It is not a legal obligation. There is no problem if you refuse. You can request a visit at a later date. You can also change to a phone consultation.

✅ But here are some reasons why we recommend using this service : ・Your baby will be checked by a professional ・You can directly discuss any concerns you may have ・You will be given information about childcare in the area ・It is a completely free service ・You don't have to worry about cleaning up after your housework

✅ Tips for making the visit easier : ・Have them tell you it's okay if the room is messy ・Specify a time when mom is feeling well ・Set the visit when dad is at home ・Make a note of any questions you have in advance

List of questions you should ask

Midwives are baby experts and mothers' best friends.
"Is it okay to ask something like this?" There's absolutely no need to be shy about asking.

✅ Baby Question: "Is this a good way to gain weight?"
Is this the right way to breastfeed?
"Is the color and frequency of your stool normal?"
Is there anything I should be careful about regarding my skin condition?
"My baby cries a lot at night, is there anything I can do about it?"
"Are there any developmental concerns?"

✅ Parenting question: "Is this the right way to bathe my baby?"
"Please tell me about room temperature and humidity control."
"Please tell me how to prevent diaper rash."
"When can I go out?"
I'd like to discuss my vaccination schedule.

✅ Question about the mother herself: "Is there anything I should be careful about in regards to my physical condition after giving birth?"
What should I be careful about when eating while breastfeeding?
"I've been feeling depressed..."
"I'm dizzy from lack of sleep."
"My relationship with my dad is strained."

✅ Question about local information : "Do you have any recommendations for nearby pediatricians?"
"Please tell me about the childcare support center."
Can I use temporary childcare?
Is there an opportunity to make mom friends?
"Please tell me who to contact in case of an emergency."

[Procedure and preparation on the day of the visit]

✅ Preparation before the visit: Prepare your maternal and child health handbook, make a note of any questions you have, summarize your baby's usual behavior, and prepare breastfeeding supplies (for the demonstration).
・Bring a scale if you have one (you can bring one if you don't have one)

✅ Flow of the day
1. Greetings and explanation of the system (5 minutes)
2. Medical interview and consultation (15 minutes)
3. Baby's physical measurements and observations (10 minutes)
4. Parenting guidance and advice (15 minutes)
5. Providing local information and guidance on future consultations (10 minutes)
6. Discussion about next follow-up (5 minutes)

✅ Measurements and checks: Weight, height, head circumference, chest circumference, skin condition check, reflexes, muscle tone check, nutritional status evaluation, developmental status observation

[Preparation for maximum use]

✅ Be frank with your questions . There's no need to pretend to be perfect. Be honest about your concerns. Don't say "Can I ask you this?". Don't be shy and ask for a demonstration.

✅ Build a lasting relationship , ask for contact information, discuss next visits, get information about local childcare groups, and find out how to get help in an emergency.

✅ Support for the whole family , including dads, receiving explanatory materials for grandparents, discussing family roles, and sharing childcare knowledge with everyone

The midwife will actually hold the baby and will also weigh and check the baby's development.

At this time, it is important to honestly tell them how you normally are. There is no need to pretend to be perfect.

Please be honest about any concerns or worries you may have.

"You don't have to worry alone"
Please take advantage of this valuable opportunity to gain such a sense of security.

12. Childcare items: what you really need and what you can wait and see

The minimum necessary items for peace of mind, items that can be purchased later, and how to use rental items

"You said I need this and that, but do I really need all of them?"
I bought it but never used it...

For moms who are confused by the flood of childcare products.

In reality, newborn babies actually need less than you might think.

[Five essential "basic items" you'll need]

✅ 1. Diaper related items : Disposable diapers (for newborns): 15-20 diapers per day x 7 days' worth; Baby wipes: Thick wipes are recommended; Diaper trash can: Odor prevention is essential; Baby wipe warmer: Convenient to have.

2. Nursing supplies /bottles: 1-2 (necessary even if you are primarily breastfeeding)
・Powdered milk: 1 small can (for emergencies)
・Nursing cushion: Reduces the burden on the mother's body ・Breast pads: Essential for breastfeeding mothers

✅ 3. Underwear/Clothes /Short-sleeved undershirts: 5-6 pieces, Long-sleeved or combined undershirts: 5-6 pieces, Baby clothes: 3-4 pieces, Socks: 2-3 pairs

✅ 4. Bathing supplies, care products , and baby soap (foam type recommended)
・Gauze handkerchiefs: about 10 ・Bath towels: 3-4 ・Cotton swabs ・Nail clippers

✅ 5. Bedding , baby futon set, swaddle cloth: 2-3 pieces, waterproof sheets: 2-3 pieces

[Ranking of things experienced moms regret buying]

We'll teach you the wisdom to avoid unnecessary purchases based on real-life experiences.

1st place: Newborn size clothes (bulk purchase)
Reason: They quickly outgrow their clothes. Solution: Buy small quantities of 50-60cm sizes. Alternative: Use hand-me-downs or rentals.

2nd place: Baby bottle set (6 bottles, etc.)
Reason: No longer necessary once breastfeeding is underway. Solution: Start with 1-2 bottles and see how it goes. Alternative: Buy more later if needed.

3rd place: Baby bath - Reason: Short period of use (about 1 month)
Solution: An adult bathtub is sufficient. Alternative: Use a sink or clothing rack instead.

4th place: Newborn toys Reason: Newborns have poor eyesight and are less responsive Solution: Wait until the baby is 2-3 months old Alternative: A homemade rattle is sufficient

5th place: Baby bed (purchase)
Reason: Not suitable for co-sleeping. Solution: Try renting one first. Alternative: Lay the baby futon on the floor.

[On the other hand, things you regret buying]

✅ Products to reduce the burden on mothers : Bouncer: Calms the baby; Electric breast pump: Makes breastfeeding easier; Nursing light: Makes nighttime nursing easier; Postpartum shorts: Essential for postpartum care

✅ Hygiene and care products: Baby wipe warmer: Baby won't mind; Humidifier: Protects newborn's skin and respiratory system; Air purifier: Prevents infection; Thermometer (non-contact): Easy temperature check

✅ Time-saving and convenient items : Dishwasher: Easy to sterilize baby bottles; Food delivery: Great for when you can't go shopping; Cleaning robot: Saves time cleaning floors; Frozen foods: Reduces the burden of cooking

[Smart shopping tips: "How to use rental items"]

✅ Recommended products to rent : Crib: Short-term use; Car seat: Change as your baby grows; Stroller: Try it out before purchasing; Bouncer: You don't know your baby's preferences; Weighing scale: Use only during checkups

✅ Benefits of renting : Reduce initial costs, try it out before you decide to buy, no need to think about storage space, no maintenance required, just return it when you no longer need it

✅ Tips for renting:・Surely a good deal for short-term rentals (1-3 months) ・Compare and consider purchasing for long-term rentals ・Get discounts by renting multiple items at the same time ・Allow ample time for return deadlines

["When you really need it" by age]

✅ Necessary items for the newborn stage (0-1 month) : diapers, nursing supplies, underwear, bathing supplies. You'll get by with just this.

✅ What babies need at 2-3 months : Toys (rattles, mobiles)
・Outdoor items (strollers, baby carriers)
・Vaccination-related products

✅ Items needed for babies 4-6 months old : baby food supplies, sitting aids, dental care products

[A cost-effective purchasing strategy]

✅ The Law of Prioritization
1. Safety-related items → Absolute purchase
2. Items used every day → Buy with an emphasis on quality
3. Things that save time → Reducing the burden on mothers
4. Useful but not essential → Wait and see

✅ Tips for saving money:・Make use of hand-me-downs ・Use good second-hand items on flea market apps ・Buy only what you need rather than buying in bulk ・Make the most of samples and freebies ・Aim for days with high reward point rates

✅ Tips for choosing the right product : ・Check reviews, especially for negative ones ・Try touching the product in the store ・Consider whether it can be used even after the child grows ・Check maintenance, ease of cleaning, and safety standards (SG mark, etc.)

We tend to loosen our purse strings thinking, "For the sake of the baby," but what's really important is "Mom's smile."

Please create an environment that is comfortable for the whole family, within reasonable limits.

You can buy the things you need later. The most important thing is to start with the bare minimum and get used to life with a baby.